Manipulation is so much more than it might seem. Manipulation starts from a small miss guided statement or a lie but might lead to something more severe. And manipulation is a sign of love bombing.
Love bombing sure is a red flag in a relationship. The sooner you notice this kind of behavior and the sooner you leave, it’s better for you. The chances that they change themselves are very rare and difficult. It becomes so much a part of their personality that it becomes an unconscious habit of theirs.
What is love bombing?
So, what does love bombing mean? Love bombing is manipulation or influencing someone to do something they don’t want to. It is a horrible place to be in. you are continuously in a place where you are made to do things and take your emotional vulnerability for granted.
They usually use very sweet words and actions to convince you that it is best that they are thinking about you. You are under the impression that they are so good to you, love why would they think bad for you and end up doing wrong things just because of a few sweet gestures.
Even during the times you feel like no they are wrong and what is happening isn’t right you are manipulated and brainwashed to believe the other way around. It is a very dangerous space to be. You give yourself up completely, you lose your own identity.
Types of love bombers
We’ve got the idea of what love bombing is and the basic signs of love bombing, now let’s understand a few types of love bombing.
There are two types of love bombers, both of which we might have experienced or can at least associate with their behavior.
Both are equally damaging and taking a step back is very important for yourself. Letting them go is what you should be doing the next moment you come to know about their behavior. Giving a second chance shouldn’t cross your mind.
Type:1 The loud ones:
They are very loud and expressive about their love, quick in saying their feelings out loud. Buying expensive gifts, luxurious vacations, etc., are a way they manipulate you or overwhelm you to make you do what they want from you.
Let me elaborate this with one of the love-bombing examples:
They might take you for a fancy holiday somewhere you dreamt of going and then brainwash you into being physical or not wearing a certain kind of clothes or posting some kind of photos, these are just a few ways they take you for a ride emotionally.
Type:2 The quiet ones:
These are usually the silent ones. They don’t talk or show too much. And that is exactly what makes you feel like there’s a lot going on that they aren’t able to share. You get completely emotionally sucked in even without realizing it. And that’s how they manipulate you, by making you think you can take care of them, make it better somehow.
Let’s consider one love bombing example for better understanding.
Let’s say they are always silent and upon a lot of attempts from your end, they open up something that isn’t that big of a deal..but you feel like oh! They finally spoke to you about something from their life before you.
11 warning signs of love bombing
After knowing the types of love bombing let’s get to know the 11 signs of love bombing in relationships.
Here are 11 signs of narcissist love bombing:
1. Undivided attention
One of the first signs of love bombing is that they want your undivided attention at all times. They feel offended if at all you aren’t able to do that and make you feel bad about it.
2. Over the top gestures
The gestures are always so over the top that it overwhelms you and pit’s you off balance. You feel like you owe them something in return as well.
3. Guilt trips
One of the sociopath love bombing signs is that the person will always give you guilt trips for something very small or you are not at fault at all. They always victimize themselves.
When you try to place boundaries or draw a line between the two of you, they always question the reason to do so. The question they will always ask you is, “do you not trust me”. Beware of such questions.
Another love bombing sign is that they behave as if their world revolves around you. Anytime you try to focus on something else, they’ll complain about the fact that you don’t have the time for them.
6. Unnecessary gifts
They will often get you gifts or send them to your office or be overly vocal about their love for you publicly. This might also lead to saying ‘I love you too soon red flag’ which will be hard to deny.
7. Invade your privacy
Privacy for them means nothing. They’ll be there in every business of yours needlessly. You feel like you don’t have any space to breathe anymore.
8. Inner voice
Another sign of narcissist love bombing is that your inner voice will always tell you something is fishy but it will be very difficult to figure out because they manipulate you so well, the lines of right and wrong are blurred.
9. High intensity
They do everything with such intensity that you feel totally consumed yet lost all at the same time. The intensity will make it feel like it’s really hard to keep up with them, it all will feel toxic.
Don’t be around them as a friend. Don’t talk to them and so many other restrictions. They will want to have a say in everything in your life.
11. Hardly share
Last but not the least, one love bombing sign is that these people will hardly share about themselves. Not involve you much in their lives. This will just make you feel like you aren’t putting enough effort to get to know them. Which might not be the case.
These were a few signs of love bombing that you should be looking for if you feel like you are getting love bombed.
How long does love bombing last?
How long can you get love-bombed, does this question arise in your head as well?
Let us try and answer this question for you. In this incase, there can be two situations:
1) you get used to that kind of behavior without realizing and
2) you leave the person when it becomes completely unbearable.
Both the situations can be damaging for your mental health but in the first scenario, your mind gets adapted to be treated a certain way. But in the second case, a lot of work has to be put in to bring yourself back and trust someone else.
What to do if you’re being love-bombed?
We know what are the signs of love bombing, how long can it last, so let’s also figure out a way of what to do if you are getting love bombed.
Narcissist love bombing comes disguised as something you’d want, the perfect partner, the perfect relationship, something everyone dreams of. So it becomes difficult to pick the good from the bad. It will take you time to figure out that you’re being manipulated under the pretext of having everything perfect.
In such a case you can either call them out on the fact that you feel love-bombed and give them a second chance if you feel they genuinely deserve it, or leave them and focus on yourself until you find someone who knows your worth and treats you right.
One thing you must keep in mind is that the confrontation isn’t going to be easy. They will brainwash you in believing that there is nothing like this and call it overthinking. Be very firm in your decision so that you do not get carried away by their words.
It’s definitely tough to deal with all of this. But staying strong is very important. If you feel you cannot handle it yourself ask for help.
The better decision would be to walk out of such a relationship. How Much Ever the person might mean to you. Put your foot down and walk out of the relationship with your head held high.
Also read: How to Have a Clean Break Up: 15 Tips
Here’s a video explaining further what you can do about love bombing: