Remember the first time you fell in love?
Now, remember your recent episode of love?
Of course, there’s a difference and how you have grown as a person- maturer, saner, wiser. You made mistakes along the way but definitely learned your lessons by heart.
Growth is a constant force. Whether you do it consciously by writing your resolutions on a piece of paper or just pass each day reflecting upon your life, you will grow and change as a person.
However, the world has come a long way from having a we-first to me-first attitude. This shows in relationships as well.
When we initially understood Love as a child or a teenager, gave our hearts for the first time, we gave ourselves without any reservations.
Then we had a heartbreak. Unfortunate
We closed the doors for a while, deduced some important grown-up lessons and opened our hearts again with a renewed spirit. Well, probably the hurt followed and so did the process of locking and unlocking our hearts.
The sad part, however, of this pattern was that in the process of protecting ourselves, we became too cautious with our hearts, words, promises and actions. We kept testing the waters until we completely pulled our leg out of it. We somewhat became too calculative of how much we should give to the other person in the relationship.
What I mean is initially, we were vulnerable. We shared our most intimate sides in the relationship until our heart broke and we eventually became less and less vulnerable.
Vulnerability in the relationship means opening your heart to the other person, taking the risk of facing negative consequences, but opening yourself nonetheless.
That you considered your vulnerability as your fault, a weakness is one of the biggest mistakes you made or are making in your relationship.
Storms come and go. You cannot stop rowing the boat.
Your vulnerability is your power.
It gives you an advantage of authenticity. You have the feeling of worthiness because you don’t go about limiting yourself in the relationship or closing yourself down during conversations lest it should act against you.
With vulnerability, you also don’t end up in a wrong relationship. You humanize it right from the first date. There is stronger empathy and greater trust. Win-win.
I recently learned so much about vulnerability and it helped me define myself as a person. I understood how vulnerable I have been in all my relationships and how it built me stronger as a person. I learned self-love. I learned to be accepting and more embracing of myself.
I have always believed in love and I am full of it, no matter how many heartbreaks, whatsoever.
Ultimately, I questioned myself, how much vulnerability is too much vulnerability in love?
This can get twisted.
There’s definitely no meter. To put it simply, being vulnerable means disclosing and expressing your emotions without any inhibitions. Being too vulnerable means oversharing yourself in the relationship.
Vulnerability is not cutting down boundaries or giving up on your personal space. It does not mean letting the person step over you while you limp around with a wounded heart time and again.
You might end up sharing your deepest, darkest secrets with someone. While you do it with good intentions, it can often come across as an attempt to gain pity or sympathy.
When you share too much personal information to build intimacy, you are not using vulnerability as your power. You are crossing the line to speed up the intimacy process. Check that.
Not everyone in our life comes with the best interest in their hearts. You will apparently end up being more hurt than ever if you don’t figure out that line.
A relationship is built on trust, understanding, loyalty as a few of the most important pillars. Throw in vulnerability and there’s no denying that you are going to have the right person by your side.