It can be really difficult when someone love rejects us. The pain of rejection can linger long, even if we’re leaning on our friends and family.
If you’re someone who suffers from low self-esteem or past trauma, it can be even harder to weather the pain of romantic rejection. It can feel like your worth is completely tied to the opinion of others, and when they don’t appreciate you, you feel like you don’t deserve to exist.
What is rejection sensitivity?
Rejection sensitivity is an emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception that a person has been rejected or criticized by important people in their life.
It can be a very difficult and frustrating experience, making it hard to build relationships or even just have positive interactions. Several factors can cause rejection sensitivity or rejection trauma.
Why does rejection hurt in a relationship?
Rejection hurts. That’s just a fact. No matter how well we think we know someone or how much chemistry or connection exists between us, sometimes that connection is not enough, and someone will say no. Simply put, it hurts to be rejected.
But why does rejection hurt so much? What does constant rejection do to a person?
One of the psychological effects of rejection is that rejection activates the same parts of our brain that are activated when we experience physical pain. Facing rejection instills fear in a person because it suggests that we are not valued or appreciated.
We feel sad because it seems as if we will never be good enough for anyone else because we will never get to experience the feeling of acceptance again. This is one of the causes of rejection.
How do I stop hurting after rejection?
Once you know why rejection hurts so bad, know that rejection is a common experience, and unfortunately, it can be tough to overcome. It can feel like your whole world has crashed, and it’s hard to move on.
But you can do a few things to help yourself feel better.
- Allow yourself to grieve
This means letting yourself feel the sadness and pain that major rejections or even minor rejections can cause. It can be hard to do, but it’s important to honor your feelings and allow yourself to process what happened.
- Spend time with people who care for you
This can be really helpful in healing. Having supportive friends and family can help you feel less alone, and it can give you a chance to talk about what happened.
- Practice self-compassion
This means that you treat yourself with the same kindness that you would show a good friend who’s going through a hard time. It’s really important to be gentle with yourself during this process because being rejected can be really painful.
7 ways to overcome rejection trauma
Rejection is a common experience in relationships, and for many people, it can be quite painful. But mental strength is essential if you want to bounce back from rejection and maintain a healthy relationship.
How to deal with rejection? Here are 7 ways to help you overcome rejection and maintain a positive outlook:
- Acknowledge your discomfort
When you’re feeling rejected, it can be hard to acknowledge your feelings. But it’s important to be aware of any negative emotions you are experiencing. Acknowledge that you’re feeling rejected, and then try to focus on the positives of the situation.
- Give yourself a reality check
Take a moment to think about your relationship and what progress you’ve made so far. If you can truly say that you’ve given the other person a fair chance, you may have to face the fact that it’s time to move on.
- Celebrate your courage
When rejection hits you, it can be hard to stay positive. Try to think of this as a moment of celebration because you’ve now taken a step towards finding a better fit for your life!
- Learn from rejection
It’s inevitable that you’ll face rejection along the way. But it’s important to remember that this is only a temporary setback. Next time you’re in a similar situation, you’ll be able to handle it better because of what you learned from this rejection.
- Bounce back with confidence
Confidence is essential to a healthy relationship. You need to believe in yourself in order to deal with difficult situations like rejection. To recover from rejection, take some time each day to remind yourself that you’re a strong person who’s capable of overcoming any situation.
- Reject negative self-talk
Everyone has that voice inside their heads that says things like “You’re not good enough” or “You’ll never find love.” Don’t listen to it! Instead, reframe these negative thoughts as facts you can’t control. Practice self-love and self-care.
- Talk to a professional
If the rejection is causing you a lot of stress, it may be helpful to talk to a professional about your situation. A therapist will be able to help you deal with difficult emotions and make positive changes in your life.
How to create a separation between romantic rejection and self-worth
For those who already carry high levels of negative self-worth, romantic rejection can feel much worse because it feeds into your sense of worthlessness.
But there’s hope. If you’re someone who is plagued by low self-esteem and experiences frequent cycles of self-hatred after romantic rejection, here are three tips to help you keep your self-worth separate from your relationship status:
- Cut off the affair
First, you have to cut off your relationship with the person who rejected you. This isn’t about denying your feelings- it’s about taking your power back. You can’t feel worthy if you still have to keep this person in your life.
Check out this video for further tips:
- Focus on your own worth
Second, focus on your own self-worth. You are a whole person on your own. Find things that you enjoy or that you’re good at and focus on those instead. Practice recognizing your strengths instead of focusing on your weaknesses.
- Talk to someone
Third, talk to someone about your feelings. There’s nothing wrong with seeking support from friends, family, a therapist, or even a spiritual advisor.