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Closure. It’s the buzzword we hear everywhere—in breakups, career setbacks, even Bollywood dramas where the protagonist finally lets go after a dramatic monologue.
But is closure really what we need? Or is it just a comforting myth we cling to in the chaos of unresolved emotions?
Let’s know this, with insights from therapist Abhya Sharma.
What Is Closure, Really?
Closure is often described as the “final chapter” that ties up loose emotional ends. It’s that moment when you feel free from past pain, ready to move forward. Sounds dreamy, doesn’t it?
But here’s the thing: life isn’t a Karan Johar movie. Sometimes, there’s no perfect ending or satisfying ‘aha’ moment. Sometimes, we’re left hanging, just like Anjali in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, who probably deserved a little closure from Rahul before she got dragged back into his whirlwind.
In reality, closure is messy, and often, it’s not even necessary. Therapist Abhya Sharma puts it this way,
“Closure is not a destination; it’s a process. It’s okay to live with unanswered questions if you’re focusing on healing and moving forward.”
Why the Obsession with Closure?
Bhavya Das, a marketing executive in Delhi, puts it succinctly,
“Closure is a myth—a comforting illusion we chase to tie loose ends of our emotional narratives. Life often leaves us with unanswered questions and lingering feelings, urging us to adapt rather than resolve. True peace comes not from closure but from embracing the chaos and moving forward.”
1. The Influence of Pop Culture
Movies like Tamasha or Dear Zindagi teach us to resolve our inner turmoil by confronting our past. While these narratives can be inspiring, they also set up unrealistic expectations. Life is not a three-hour movie where everything resolves itself after an emotional climax.
2. Psychological Need for Control
In a country like India, where family, relationships, and societal expectations dominate, closure becomes a way to regain control over our lives. It’s a coping mechanism to deal with the unpredictability of emotions.
Abhya explains,
“Control gives us comfort. But emotional healing doesn’t follow a checklist. It’s messy, unpredictable, and personal.”
3. Social Media Pressure
“Moving on” posts with captions like “New beginnings” flood our Instagram feeds. The constant pressure to package your emotions into digestible, inspiring content fuels the idea that closure is a must-have.
The Data Behind Closure
Studies show that closure isn’t always effective or necessary:
- The Journal of Positive Psychology (2023) reported that 62% of individuals who sought closure in relationships found it less satisfying than they expected.
- A survey by The Indian Express revealed that 48% of young Indians find closure overrated, preferring to focus on building new experiences rather than dissecting the past.
Abhya adds,
“Many of my clients report that chasing closure left them more frustrated. When they shifted their focus to acceptance, they found more peace.”
So, Do We Really Need Closure?
The short answer: No. Closure is overrated, and here’s why:
1. It’s a Moving Target
Closure often shifts as we grow. What felt unresolved five years ago might not even matter today. The idea of achieving “perfect closure” is as elusive as a train seat in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge.
“Our understanding of events evolves with time,” Abhya notes. “Waiting for closure can stall personal growth.”
2. It Delays Healing
By waiting for closure, we often postpone the actual process of healing. As Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara taught us, sometimes you just have to jump in and let go—without waiting for a clear ‘why.’
3. Life Is About Living, Not Resolving
In the grand scheme of things, you don’t need to understand everything to move on. Sometimes, acceptance is more liberating than closure.
How to Move Forward Without Closure
1. Shift Your Focus
Instead of obsessing over ‘why it happened,’ focus on ‘what’s next.’ Take a page from Queen, where Rani turns heartbreak into self-discovery.
2. Accept the Messiness
Life is messy, and that’s okay. Embrace the uncertainty. After all, it’s the unanswered questions that often lead to the most beautiful discoveries.
“Healing doesn’t mean you’ve figured everything out,” says Abhya. “It means you’ve learned to live fully despite the uncertainties.”
3. Invest in Growth
Channel your energy into self-improvement. Join a class, pick up a hobby, or simply take a solo trip like Jai in Love Aaj Kal. Growth doesn’t need an ending; it’s a continuous journey.
My Verdict
Closure might sound like the perfect antidote to pain, but it’s often just a mirage. The truth is, you don’t need to wrap up every story neatly to move on. Life’s best lessons come from embracing the unknown, not tying up every loose end.
As Abhya Sharma wisely puts it,
“Letting go isn’t about closing the book; it’s about choosing to write the next chapter with courage and curiosity.”
So, stop chasing closure. Instead, chase life. Because, as Tamasha reminded us, “Kahani ka kya hai? Kahi bhi badal sakti hai.”
