You may have come across men in your life who instantly disconnected after your first intimacy with them. Did you feel disappointed or wonder, “Why do guys distance themselves after intimacy?” We have got all the answers here.
Why Do Guys Act Weird After Hooking Up?
It can be pretty confusing when a guy you’ve just hooked up with starts acting weird. Maybe he’s being distant or acting like he doesn’t want to see you again.
Or maybe he pulls away from you and acts all standoffish when you ask for another date. And perhaps the scariest part, he may start dating someone else. The reasons are many, but here are a few of the more common ones:
So, why do guys need space after intimacy? Well, he’s probably scared. He is scared to move further with you
Why do Guys Act Distant When They Like You?
It can be pretty confusing when a guy you’ve just hooked up with starts acting weird. Maybe he’s being distant or acting like he doesn’t want to see you again. Or maybe he pulls away from you and acts all standoffish when you ask for another date.
And perhaps the scariest part, he may start dating someone else. The reasons are many of why he is distant after intimacy or why men withdraw after intimacy, but here are a few of the more common ones:
- He’s Scared
Why do guys become distant after intimacy? He is scared to move further with you because he doesn’t want to get hurt.
- He’s Afraid of Vulnerability
Sometimes guys act weird or distance themselves after hooking up because they are afraid of getting too emotionally close. If he pulls away after intimacy, chances are he is afraid to be vulnerable.
- He’s Scared of Commitment
When a man withdraws after intimacy, know that some guys, especially the more “player” types, are scared of commitment. They may be worried that they will be tied down in a relationship if they get involved with you, so they act aloof when they hook up to give you some space.
If you’re unsure what’s going on in his heart, look for these 3 signs that he’s in love with you but is afraid to commit:
- He Wants to Get Back on the Horse
Some guys just aren’t very good at relationships. They may have been burned in the past, or they may just not be comfortable being in committed relationships. Whatever the reason, it makes them act weird and distant.
Why Do Guys Distance Themselves After Intimacy?
One of the most common things that they are distant after sex or people do after intimacy is distance themselves. This happens when someone feels overwhelmed and doesn’t know what to do. If a person feels rejected, they should give the guy some space so that he will figure out what he wants. If the person has attachment issues, then the person should heal their issues instead of pushing the person away.
So, why do guys distance themselves after intimacy? Here are 10 common reasons why guys distance themselves after intimacy:
- He doesn’t want a relationship
If a guy wants to be intimate with you, but he is not ready for a relationship, he might distance himself. One fact about guys is it might be hard to tell if they are in love with you or they want to satisfy their physical needs. You can tell when you are sensitive to some patterns in his behavior and disposition towards you. For example, the guy might be in love with you, but he is not ready to settle down yet. He might have mentioned it to you, but you might not have interpreted it the exact way.
- He doesn’t want to deal with your emotions
Some guys only want to get intimate with you once, and they leave when they achieve their goal. Some of them will give you different promises so that you will accept their demands.
- He doesn’t want to deal with your drama
Some guys don’t want to deal with your drama. They don’t want to deal with your emotional issues, your insecurities, your baggage, or your past. For example, a guy might tell you that he doesn’t want drama, but he will introduce you to his friends and you start fighting with them. Don’t be surprised if guys don’t put up with your drama for very long.
- He’s afraid of losing you
Some guys just want to have their cake and eat it too. They want you physically, but they don’t want to commit. They are afraid that if they commit to you, you might leave, so they decide to keep you at arm’s length.
- He’s afraid of getting hurt
Some guys don’t want to get hurt. They think that being in a relationship means sacrificing your freedom, which is not true at all. Some guys also think a relationship means that they have to treat you in a certain way, like they have to give you time, affection, or sex.
They think that being in a relationship means having to open up and be vulnerable, and that’s not something most guys want to deal with. So, rather than deal with all that, they push you away.
They see you as “the problem” and don’t want to deal with it. However, they’re not even aware that they’re pushing you away. They’re just doing what feels safe.
- He’s afraid of commitment
Some guys are afraid of commitment. Some guys think “commitment” means “you have to take care of me,” when in reality, commitment means that you’re making a choice and a commitment to the person you love. Some guys also think that a relationship means that they have to treat you in a certain way, like they have to give you time, affection, or sex.
- He’s afraid of intimacy
Some guys are afraid to show how much they love you because they don’t want to be hurt again. They think showing how much they care will hurt you, but that’s not true at all. They just want to protect their heart and their pride. If you’re having trouble getting your guy back, you can work on loving yourself more and work on being more confident.
- He considers you clingy
Some guys don’t want to be too attached. Some guys think that you’re too needy or clingy, and they don’t want to deal with that. Guys also don’t like it when you call them all the time, so they push it away and try to convince you that it’s not a problem.
- He doesn’t know how to commit
Some guys don’t know how to commit, so they think that they can’t commit. They don’t want to hurt your feelings, so they just won’t commit. If he’s truly not ready for a relationship, then he’s being honest with you. But, if he’s playing games with you, then he’s not being honest. You can talk to him about his feelings, tell him that you’re ready to be in a serious relationship, and see if he changes his mind.
- He doesn’t want to disappoint you
Sometimes guys don’t want to disappoint you, so they try to push you away. For example, if he’s dating someone, but he’s flirting with you, he’ll try to play it cool with you, so you won’t feel bad. He may say that he’s not into you, or that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. Although this isn’t your fault, you shouldn’t let him do this to you. You should stand up for yourself and let him know how you feel.
What to do when he pulls away after Intimacy
Whenever someone we’re attracted to withdraws from our affection, it can be difficult to know what to do. After all, if he’s not interested in us anymore, why should we bother trying to keep up the relationship?
However, according to scientific research, if he consistently dodges, flakes, or just can’t seem to make time for you, he probably isn’t interested enough in dating you. However, he could just be busy, so giving him the benefit of the doubt could be worthwhile. It could also be that he just isn’t sure about what he wants yet, and he wants to be careful with his affections until he figures it out.
If you’re not sure, it could be helpful to ask some direct questions. For example, you can ask him if he feels the same way, or if he feels like you’re the one. If he doesn’t give a direct answer, you can ask him why he feels that way.
This can be a difficult conversation to have, but if he values you, he will probably want to tell you. However, if he continues to dodge the question, or brushes it off, then it’s likely that he isn’t interested. In that case, the best thing to do would be to stop calling and texting him until he contacts you first.
A different strategy involves asking open-ended questions. For example, you can ask him if he feels like you’re the one, or if he feels like you feel the same way. “He’s probably acting quiet or a bit distant as a way to work it out before he can talk with you about it. If this sounds like your guy, let him take things slowly at first. He probably just needs time before he feels ready to be as open as he used to be. “If you ask him why he’s acting distant, he’ll probably tell you, and you can then work on a solution together.
Alternatively, you can ask him if he’ll still call you or hang out after he talks to you about it. If he says that he’ll still hang out with you, then he should. If he says no, then it might be time to back off a bit.” “There’s no saving someone who’s emotionally unavailable, or “saved”, for that matter. As the song goes, “you can’t save a drowning man”. “He has no interest in hanging out with you. Might not say no out of courtesy when you ask him out but would never make an effort to plan out one.” “If he’s “saved”, he might not appreciate you trying to talk things out.
