Being happy in the relationship is one of the most basic standards and an ultimate goal. Being in love is Sureshot equated to being happy but does it really happen? Do people in love always be happy?
Well, being in a relationship is a full-time job and despite the couple getting on like a house on fire, there can be certain situations where they don’t see eye to eye or a long-standing resentment has led to some levels of toxicity creeping into the relationship. In such situations, couples just pretend to be happy in a relationship.
Why Do People Pretend To Be Happy In A Relationship?
People often pretend about a lot of things in life and it is mainly because they want to be respected and put in high regard by others. Showing ourselves as vulnerable gives people an opportunity to judge, attack, and advice in situations it is not required.
That is why, more often than not, people feign happiness in their relationship because they want to avoid judgment. Another important reason for people pretending to be happy in a relationship is also because they are too scared to be honest. They might not have the heart to accept that the relationship they have been investing so much in is getting into a state of shambles.
How can you tell if someone is pretending to be happy?
You know that someone is only pretending to be happy in a relationship when their words and actions don’t match. They will often withdraw from people or would like to talk least about their relationship. When someone is genuinely happy, it naturally shows in the face and they don’t need to build it up but with people only pretending to be happy in a relationship, they will try hard to convince other people that they are doing amazing in life.
20 Signs You’re Pretending To Be Happy In Your Relationship
A relationship cannot be sunny and glorious on all days. There could be times when couples just need to get through the day. However, if there are prolonged periods of sadness and gloom in the relationship and couples only stick around like nothing’s wrong, they are surely pretending to be happy in the relationship.
Are you someone doing the same? Check out these signs to understand the status of your bond with your partner and if you are only pretending to be happy in a relationship.
1. You make sure to please people
One of the signs that you are only pretending to be happy in the relationship is when you try hard to please people because they happen to be your last resort. Considering you remain stressed and unhappy with your partner, you don’t want to lose other people and be lonely. This makes you a people-pleaser.
2. You agree with whatever your partner says
Just for the sake of going along with things without hassle, you tend to agree with your partner in whatever they say or decide. This means that you have cut down on communication and stopped expressing your needs or thoughts to your partner.
3. Posting too many ‘happy couple’ pictures on social media
If you are trying too hard to shout to the world that you are happy with your partner, this is not a good sign. While it is fine to post happy pictures with your partner if you are scheduling it strategically just to avoid people raising their eyebrows.
4. You are not excited about love
Being in love is all about being excited about having someone you can count on at all times. Being in love is a comforting feeling. If you don’t look forward to the relationship, your partner or think about it enough, there are chances that you are only pretending to be happy in the relationship.
5. Constant complaining
When everything is going fine in the relationship, you both will hardly complain about things. You will also let go of a lot of petty issues you have with your partner. However, when you are faking happiness, you won’t be able to stop yourself from complaining about almost anything and everything and will nit-pick the most minor issues that you find annoying.
6. Forgetting celebrations
If you are missing out on important dates, there are chances that you are pretending to be happy when you’re not. Birthdays, anniversaries, and other important dates are special reminders to celebrate the relationship and if you are forgetting them or letting go of celebrations despite having them in mind, this is a sign that you are pretending to be happy in the relationship.
7. Seeking company
When you’re not happy in a relationship, you are constantly seeking company because the bond you share with your partner is not enough. You want people around you because you don’t want to feel lonely and with your partner, the bond is not strong enough that you would like to spend a lot of time together.
8. You don’t make efforts to keep in touch
It simply means that once your partner is no longer around, you tend to forget them. You make no efforts to contact them or talk to them because you feel peaceful in their absence.
9. You share relationship issues with others
Your partner should know about the issues before anyone else but there are problems lingering in your relationship and you begin sharing them with people rather than your partner. This means you only fake being happy in a relationship with your partner.
10. You don’t plan the future together anymore
When you are unhappy in the relationship, thinking about your partner when you are seeing your future completely slips out of your mind. The other situation could be when you see your future and it looks better to you without your partner in the picture.
11. You are diverting your attention to prospective dates
When you lose interest in your partner and are only pretending to be happy in the relationship, there are chances that your mind gets diverted to other people who could make better partners. You begin to think about ideas of dating again or simply, find potential in other people than your partner. This is one of the significant signs someone is pretending to be happy in a relationship.
12. Constant fighting
Bickering and fights in the relationship increase when you are faking being happy. Once the couple gets into an argument cycle, this leads to further miscommunication as the conversations begin to take a negative turn. You are always fighting about the same things or different things but the underlying triggers remain the same if you closely observe.
13. They’re not a priority anymore
One of the signs someone is pretending to be happy in the relationship but isn’t actually is when they move down their partner in their priority list. Relationships should be one of the top priorities in life and it requires effort to keep things going smoothly. But if the partner is not a priority anymore, this simply means the efforts in the relationship are absent.
14. Lack of acts of affection
When the love is not expressed as the partners are faking happiness, they don’t show love to each other. You could have been carrying out small acts of love like breakfast in bed, saying ‘I love you’ at random moments which are missing now.
15. You seek other engagements
You try keeping yourself busy with other work just to keep your mind off your partner. It could be either work or social gatherings, you find means to remain mentally engaged so that you can be away from your partner and maintain your peace.
16. Not letting go of fights
If you are simply pretending to be happy in the relationship, you are most likely not sparing the smallest issues to complain or fight with your partner. Rather than avoiding the issue, you choose to fight and this wasn’t the case before.
17. Silent treatments
As opposed to fighting, you simply opt for the silent treatment. However, this is not the right approach and this can amount to emotional abuse of the other partner. The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive form of control.
18. Needing more space than usual
Boundaries in the relationship are okay and must be practiced but if you are demanding more space from your partner, so much so that it has caused a communication breakdown between you two apart from the physical and emotional gap, you are not happy in the relationship.
19. You stop apologizing
You don’t understand their side of the story and in case of fights, you refuse to apologize even when it’s your fault. The grave situation here is that you simply refuse to work on the problem or have a look at the situation in the first place to understand whose fault it was.
20. Lack of compliments
You don’t compliment your partner enough. You don’t acknowledge their qualities. Most likely, you have forgotten why you fell in love with your partner in the first place.
Pretending to be happy in the relationship is a salvageable situation and the couple must work together on the situation by communicating honestly to strengthen their relationship.
Read before you go: What Is New Relationship Energy & How To Make NRE Last?