How to Stop Being Toxic in a Relationship: 15 Tips
What does toxic mean in a relationship?
Simply, things just work out even when it’s difficult or gets crazy the both of you seem to get around it. You don’t feel like the relationship is a burden.
A person who manipulates or plays with your emotions or themself is not emotionally available or stable is usually the toxic person in the relationship.
Toxic person traits in a relationship often use the other person physically or mentally. It could be any form.
The question that simultaneously arises with this is the person who is toxic always wrong or bad?
Not necessarily. No one is perfect. Being toxic doesn’t mean the person is bad. A person becomes toxic due to bad examples of relationships in the family or failed past relationships where they were treated wrong and were forced to behave in the way they do.
Has the thought crossed your mind; am I toxic to others?
Mostly it does cross everyone’s mind as it is something very obvious to cross your mind when you have a failed relationship or you end up starting most of the flights.
The question that usually arises is ‘Am I that bad?’ or the relationship ends with it’s not you, it’s me. As much as we hate this, we’ve all at least used or said this once.
What makes you toxic in a relationship?
Let’s understand what makes you toxic in a relationship before you know how you can stop being toxic in a relationship.
How do you know the toxic traits of a person?
Usually, you are emotionally toxic. What does it mean to be emotionally toxic? Let us help you understand that.
Emotional toxicity ranges from lying to emotional abuse like gaslighting, love bombing, ghosting, and other things. It might start out small, but once it becomes a part of your personality, healthy relationships will become very difficult.
Toxic traits of a relationship could be physical as well, mostly physical abuse of any sort. From raising hands to verbal abuse or literal abuse. This in no form is love. Please do not fall for any of these things.
Signs you’re the toxic one in your relationship
Let me tell you about the signs you’re a toxic person in the relationship.
Being angry, extremely possessive, or jealous are some of the basic traits of a toxic person. Here is a list of general characteristics of a toxic person or if your behavior passes as a toxic one in a relationship.
- Critical of others
- Extremely possessive
- Easily jealous
- Needing attention all the time
- Lying about things
What to do when you realize you’re the toxic one in the relationship?
These are a few characteristics that should make you question: Am I the toxic one in the relationship? How to not be a toxic person?
The obvious next step that comes to your mind once you realize that you are toxic is how can I stop being toxic to others?
Here are a few steps you can do to slowly rectify the issue.
- Start with understanding what are toxic characters you have
- Try to identify what is causing them to trigger
- See if it’s just with the person you’re in a romantic relationship with or with others as well
- Start small and try to improve little by little
- Be mindful of your actions
These are a few steps you can follow to stop being toxic when you have realized that you are the toxic one.
One of the biggest things we have yet to get to is how to stop being toxic in a relationship. We spoke about what is toxicity in a relationship and how to know if it’s you and how you can rectify; here are some ways you can stop being toxic in a relationship.
15 ways to stop being a toxic in relationship
Here are 15 ways how you can stop being toxic in a relationship:
- No blame games
Do not blame your partner for a mistake you have made. Own up to it and try not to avoid it again.
Also read: 50 Gaslighting Phrases & 15 Signs To Identify Your Gaslighting Partner
If you think things are going out of your handle or too overwhelming for you, then it’s better you seek therapy.
- Set goals
Set goals and reminders for yourself so that you do not hinder your path and get through your aim at becoming a better person in the relationship.
- Stabilize yourself emotionally
Being emotionally stable is very important. If you are still carrying baggage from your previous relationship to the current one then you need to drop it for this one to work.
- Be stable mentally
Mental stability is just as important as emotional stability. If you are going through any mental trauma or any mental illness work on that first before getting into any relationship.
Be comfortable with the idea of apologizing and accepting that you are at fault. That is one of the biggest steps towards improving your personality as a toxic person.
- Recognize the signs
The most important thing is recognizing what are your toxic traits even before you start working on them. Without knowing what the issue is you cannot resolve it.
- Physical activity
Keep yourself physically active so that you can channelize your energy in a better way and your mind is refreshed and strong.
- Don’t lapse
Don’t stop working on yourself once you start seeing improvement in yourself. You will lapse if you don’t work on it continuously.
- Stay firm
Stay firm on your goals. If you let loose, you won’t ever be able to bring a change in yourself. It is important for you more than anyone else.
- Set boundaries
Set up boundaries. Stick to them. Know what are the things that don’t trigger you and engage yourself in things around it only.
- Take a step at a time
A day at a time is always advised when things get difficult or overwhelming to handle. Small steps are more important than no steps at all.
- Enjoy your own company
Be comfortable with yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company. It will give you more time to reflect on yourself and work on things that need to be worked on.
Check out this video to deal with loneliness and instead appreciate your own company, find joy and peace in solitude, and learn to love being on your own:
- Appreciate your efforts
Give yourself the well-deserved credit for all the efforts you have put in and made progress with yourself.
- Diary writing
Lastly, get into the habit of writing a diary. It will help you reflect on your day’s activity and see how it’s been so that tomorrow is better than today.
To sum up
These are 15 ways how you can stop being toxic in a relationship.
We discussed how you can stop being toxic in a relationship but can a toxic person change for real?
Yes, everyone can bring a change in themselves. It’s definitely a time-consuming process. It will require a lot of patience. If you are in a relationship with a toxic person, it’s understandable how frustrating it gets to deal with them and yet hold on to them because you love them genuinely.
If you genuinely want the relationship to work out you are going to have to give a lot of time and scope for improvement for the relationship to last.
To conclude and to be very honest with you, good communication and comprehension is the only way you can sail through this.
After knowing how to stop being toxic in a relationship you have to work on it, and the other partner has to be equally supportive and encouraging of any steps taken by the opposite person. A little appreciation goes a long way.