Demiromantic Dilemma: Is It True Love or Just a Slow Burn?

When you decide to enter the dating arena, it may be helpful to learn about your romantic identity. One such intriguing identity is the demiromantic identity. Did you know that 1 in 5 people might identify as demiromantic? This article will reveal the fascinating truth behind this unique aspect of dating and relationships. 

What does being demiromantic mean?

Being demiromantic refers to forming romantic attraction with an individual only after establishing a strong emotional bond with them. Contrary to conventional romantic experiences, demiromantic individuals don’t feel immediate romantic interest. 

Instead, their romantic feelings evolve over time often emerging from deep connections and emotional intimacy. When dating a demiromantic individual, remember to not rush!

In a dating world where quick connections and love at first sight is a common, demiromantic individuals seek emotional closeness in cultivating love. Understanding such demiromantic individuals contributes to a more inclusive perspective on relationships. 

It calls for the recognition of the diverse ways in which people experience and express romantic connections. Indeed, the dating arena is expansive and must be accepting of all romantic and sexual orientations. Watch this video to learn more about what it means to be demiromantic 

How is being demiromantic different from other romantic orientations?

Just like people in the dating world, romantic identities also vary widely. Each individual has a different romantic identity. It is unaccommodating to generalise or stereotype a particular identity to a particular group of people, for instance. Romantic identities reflect the different and distinct ways in which individuals present themselves in the dating world. Some of these romantic identities include but are not restricted to the following:

How common is being demiromantic?

Global statistics suggest that a notable portion of the population identifies as demiromantic. One in five people you come across in the dating field may identify as demiromantic. On that note, accumulating precise statistics on the number of people who identify as demiromantic may be challenging. 

People tend to keep their romantic identities concealed for fear of discrimination or judgement. Especially in countries like India, statistics on romantic identities are not readily available. This identifies the growing need to engage in more statistical research and studies to quantify individuals’ romantic orientations. 

What are the different types of being demiromantic?

Demiromanticism describes a pattern of developing romantic feelings only after having formed a strong emotional connection with an individual. While there aren’t distinct types of being demiromantic, individuals may experience and express their demiromantic orientation in various ways. Some of them include but are not restricted to the following: 

1. Demiromantic Spectrum

In the demiromantic spectrum, individuals may vary in the degree of emotional connection they require before forming a romantic attraction to someone. Some individuals may be strongly demiromantic while some others may be only fairly demiromantic. .  

2. Demiromantic-Grayromantic

Some individuals may identify with both demiromantic and grayromantic identities, indicating variability in their romantic attractions over time. Individuals with this mixed identity experience romantic attraction only after forming a strong emotional connection under specific circumstances. 

3. Demiromantic-Asexual

Some demiromantic individuals may also identify as asexual, experiencing little or no sexual attraction. Individuals with this identity feel emotional but no sexual attraction to someone they are dating. 

Watch this video to learn more about aromantic and asexual identities.

4. Demiromantic-Heteroromantic, Homoromantic, etc

Demiromantic individuals may have specific gender preferences once romantic feelings develop. Some may prefer partners of the opposite gender while some others may prefer partners of the same gender. A portion of daters feel attraction to both genders.

5. Fluid Demiromantic

Some demiromantic individuals may feel that their demiromantic experiences can be fluid or changeable. There are little to no rigid dating preferences for individuals who identify as fluid demiromantic. 

Demiromantic vs. demisexual

It may be particularly helpful to discuss two terms that are interrelated to each other: demiromantic and demisexual. Demiromantic and demisexual are terms that describe different aspects of romantic and sexual orientations.

While both terms emphasise the importance of a strong emotional connection, demiromanticism pertains to romantic feelings, and demisexuality pertains to sexual attraction. It’s possible for someone to identify as either demiromantic, demisexual, or both, as these orientations are not mutually exclusive.

How to know if you are a demiromantic?

Spotting one’s romantic orientation is an important part of establishing one’s self-identity. Here are 10 signs to know if you are demiromantic:

1. You develop romantic connections gradually

You notice that your romantic feelings take time to develop. You find yourself experiencing romantic and sexual attraction to someone only after establishing a deep emotional connection.

2. You rarely develop crushes

You do not develop frequent or immediate crushes. In the event that you do develop a crush on someone, it is typically closely associated with the emotional closeness you share with that person. 

3. You’ve turned friends to lovers

Many of your romantic relationships in the past have started as close friendships. You expect to build a strong rapport with an individual before dating them. 

4. You do not understand celebrity infatuation 

The concept of crushing on a celebrity or finding strangers romantically appealing may seem foreign to you. You prefer to remain distant from these experiences. 

5. Emotional connection is non-negotiable for you

Emotional closeness is crucial for you in feeling romantic attraction. Without an emotional bond with another person, you find yourself simply unable to connect with them romantically.

6. You do not believe in love at first sight

Initial appearances do not trigger your romantic interest. You need to spend with someone in order to get to know them better. 

7. You view romance and sex differently from each other

You separate romantic and sexual attraction. In the romantic relationships that you form in your life, romance and sex do not necessarily accompany each other.

8. You may value deep connections in all relationships

You place a high value on deep emotional connections in all your relationships. This is not restricted to romantic relationships but also reflects in other aspects of your life. 

9. You are uninterested in casual dating 

You despise casual or fleeting romantic encounters. You take all measures to avoid the possibility of having one. 

10. You notice a pattern in your dating life 

Throughout your life, you notice a consistent pattern of developing romantic feelings only after forming strong emotional connections. For you, emotional intimacy always precedes physical intimacy. 

These 10 signs are general indicators that may or may not resonate with all people who identify as demiromantic. It is important to acknowledge that individual differences exist within the demiromantic spectrum. 

Dear demiromantics!

If you identify as demiromantic, you’re not alone – you’re part of a significant and vibrant community! Navigating the dating arena as a demiromantic may seem like a slow burn, but you will form some of the most fulfilling and lasting relationships there are. By prioritizing emotional connection over romantic attraction, you take the time to understand your partner. So when you eventually develop romantic attraction, it will be rooted in trust and understanding.