Single and unhappy? Oh my God, please quit dating! Millions of people reading this article, who are single, may be disgusted with what they are about to read. But the truth sometimes hurts.
Here’s the most important statement you’ll ever read.
If you’re not happy being single, you’ll never be happy in a relationship. But it’s reality. And it’s the type of reality you’re not going to be reading in many relationship articles or self-help books. The truth sometimes is hard to hear, but you can’t argue with the truth. Well, you can but it’s wasting your time.
How being single and unhappy will lead to unhappiness in relationships
If you cannot be okay with being single or are not staying single by choice, it can affect your personality and your future relationships too. Check out how:
– Single, unhappy people will go into a relationship as unhappy
If you’re needy right now, if you have a fear of being alone, if you think your world sucks because you’re single and alone on a Friday night while all of your friends are married, engaged, or in a supposedly great relationship, you’ve got to get out of the world of dating. Single people who are unhappy being single, well guess what will go into a relationship as an unhappy person.
– If you’re unhappy and, you’re going to make a bad choice
On the other hand, if you can find joy, happiness, and inner peace while you are single, you’re going to have great judgment when it comes to picking a potential partner. But, if you’re unhappy and needy, which go hand-in-hand in the world of singlehood, you’re probably going to be a lousy picker when it comes to potential partners.
We see people who are single and unhappy jumping way too soon to get into a relationship, or, vice versa, judging everyone so harshly that they may be years on their own without a relationship because they’re just a damn unhappy person. No one can make you happy and you can’t make anyone else happy either.
Unhappy single people have a tendency to talk about their ex-partners within the first few dates of a new relationship. So if you’re a happy single person, and you’re dating someone who constantly bitches about their ex-lover, ex-husband, ex-wife, run, no wait, sprint the hell out of that restaurant now!
– A happy single person bears no resentments against their ex
You see, a happy person, a happy single person, has already done the work to release their resentments against their former partners, have no need to bitch and complain about the people they have been within the past.
I have helped several women. One comes to mind right now, who was in two terrible marriages and came into my office because she was so disgusted with the men she found available to date. Within six months of really hard introspective work, she had turned herself totally around. She became an incredibly happy person while single.
It was another six months before she decided to go out into the world of dating, and when she did, she knew exactly what she was looking for. She probably had 20 first dates, but most guys never made it past the first date because they fell victim to their past. They started to complain about their former girlfriends and wives.
She knew this was an incredibly bright red flag and would have nothing to do with it. She was not only happy but incredibly satisfied being single, so she had no need to be with anyone in a relationship that wasn’t at her level.
Months and months went by, many first dates turned into zero-second dates, and when she finally found someone that she connected with. A guy who had done an equal amount of work with a different counselor who was really happy being on his own.
Two single happy people can make a very happy couple. But if you’re willing to hang out with someone who is not happy in the world of singlehood, you’re asking for big trouble.
Benefits of being single
There are many perks of being single. For being ok with being single, check out these benefits of being single that you need to know and why being single is better:
– When you are single, you are more in touch with yourself as you have more time for yourself. This also gives you more time to work on yourself. You are more self-dependent and have ample time for yourself.
– You can travel without depending on your partner’s wishes. Just pack your bags and go to whatever place you want.
– One benefit of being single is that you are free to flirt. You can explore and enjoy yourself without any fear of commitment.
– You have more time for your friends and family, especially on important occasions.
– One of the benefits of being single is that you are saved from toxic relationships. More often than not, people fall into the trap just because they want to badly fall in love. By giving it time and staying single, you are saving yourself and your mental health.
– Another benefit of being single is that you can do whatever you want without being accountable to anyone.
– You have a lot of time to figure out what you want in life and how you want to shape it. In a relationship, it’s always what both the parties agree on.
– Your mind is devoid of the relationship issues and how to pamper your partner. It’s more focused and free.
15 tips on how to be single and happy
So, how to be a happy single? Here are 15 tips on how to be single and happy:
1. Release all resentments against your ex-partner
The first way of how to be single and happy is to work with a professional to release all, and I mean all resentments against your former partners. If you’re not willing to do this, please stay off the dating sites for the rest of your life.
2. Find something to do on weekends that you absolutely love
As a solution for how to be happily single, go to the beach alone, go to movies alone, go out to dinners alone, join a meetup group with other like-minded people, whether it’s kayakers, photographers, ballroom dancers. It really doesn’t matter but make sure you’re being a very happy person while you’re healing from any past relationships.
3. Steer clear of dating
Here’s a how to be single advice:
Stay off of all dating sites, cancel all blind dates until you’ve done the first two steps. If you still resent a former partner, I don’t care how justified you think you are for holding onto resentments, you’re going to make a lousy partner today. And, if you can’t find happiness on the weekends by yourself, once again you’re not going to be a very good partner for anyone else.
4. Relish being single
As one of the tips on how to be happy being single, think about how great it is that you have all this time to volunteer, paint, become a great gardener, musician, really take advantage of the time when there are no expectations other than taking care of yourself.
And of course, if you have kids, focus on your children during this downtime from the world of dating. Love being single! Enjoy being single by relishing every second, as so many people have told you they’re going to grow up super fast, so don’t miss a minute.
5. Find your own path to happiness
At first, when people hear my advice in the world of dating, they’re taken aback. Many will argue that the purpose of being on this earth is to be in love, to find a partner. The purpose on this earth is the find your own path to happiness, serve others at your highest level of awakening, and then, you can integrate the world of love and relationships into a lifestyle that you’re already happy with.
6. Practice self-love
We tend to be unhappy and detest ourselves for the situation we cannot control. When you are single, this is the best time to work on yourself, understand self-love and embrace, forgive, protect and treat yourself.
This is the best time to learn how to be single, understand yourself, and work on becoming happier and more confident.
Check out Oprah’s tips on self-love:
One of the ways of how to be single and happy is to spend your time networking with people that will matter to you or matter to you on the personal and professional front. Social networking helps build relationships that would not be possible otherwise. It is a great and one of the most important social skills to develop once you have time.
8. Believe this will not last forever
If you feel unhappy about singlehood, one of the tips of how to be single and happy is to keep faith that this phase is not going to last forever. Eventually, you will find your soulmate. So, believe in the process and do not make hasty decisions in the dating world lest you should end up with the wrong person.
9. Time to nurture non-romantic relationships
One way of how to be single and happy is to focus and nourish all your nonromantic relationships. That includes the bond you share with your friends and family. Focus on them and grow these relationships because you will be carrying these relationships for a lifetime.
10. Start a side hustle
Another way of how to be single and happy is to start a side hustle and spend your time productively. As you are free from the relationship responsibilities, your side hustle will benefit you, and you will be able to express yourself better through your meaningful interests.
11. Look at the financial benefits
If you look at the brighter side, being single has a lot of benefits too. You can financially be independent without having to worry about dates and spending money on special occasions. So, you can spend the money on yourself and also save big for the future.
12. Be open to new things
When you are in a relationship, you probably have less time to try new things, but when you are single, you have the liberty to be spontaneous.
Now that you are single, you can be adventurous and try fun things as a tip for how to be single and happy. Whether it’s trying the new Zumba class, a new restaurant, or anything else, you can enjoy it all without having to worry about persuading anyone else.
13. Enjoy independence
One of the ways to be happy single is when instead of complaining about the singlehood, you can actually enjoy the independence you have where you are not accountable for anything to anyone. Appreciate your life and recognize your independence as you learn to depend just on yourself.
14. Be positive
One way of how to be single and happy is to look at the brighter side of life. Sure, being in a relationship has several benefits but being single has good advantages too. So, just look at the positive aspects of your status as an answer to how to be single and happy. Having a pessimistic outlook will only make you grumpy, desperate, and unwelcoming.
15. Groom yourself
One of the tips on how to be single and happy is to spend time grooming yourself. You can work on bettering your physical appearance, go for workouts, have a good diet. This will not only make you attractive but also improve your overall lifestyle.
16. Avoid comparisons
If you begin comparing your life with your committed or engaged couples, you will always be sad about your singlehood. To be a happy single when all your friends are in relationships, understand that your life is very different from theirs in every way. So, focus on your life and remember- Grass always looks greener on the other side.
17. Ignore the social media trap
Social media will make you believe so many pretty things about being in a relationship. From couple reels to Relationship Tik Toks, you are going to come across many things that might eventually make you feel incomplete. However, it’s all business, and you need to filter out the content that isn’t right for you.
18. Don’t be grumpy
If you are always complaining about your life, it might be a toxic trait a lot of people would like to avoid. So, to be happier single than in a relationship, avoid making fun of yourself or weeping over your singlehood. One way of how to be single and happy is by learning to be happy with yourself and being positive. By doing this, you will attract more people into your life.