Unabashed Emotions

Why Is It so Hard to Leave a Narcissist in a Relationship

By unabashedemotions


Table of Contents

What is Narcissistic Trauma Bonding?

Narcissistic Trauma Bonding is a type of behavior where a narcissist repeats a cycle of abuse with another person which fuels a need for validation and love from the person being abused. This can lead to the person being trapped in a cycle of abuse and becomes further traumatized by the narcissistic personality. 

This behavior is often hidden and kept secret, as the narcissist fears that if others knew about their abusive behavior, they might stop loving them. This is why you could think, “Why is it so hard to leave a narcissist?” It can be so difficult to identify and break free from this type of bond.

Also, know these signs of trauma bonding:

How do you emotionally detach from a narcissist?

Detaching from a narcissist can be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do. It’s not easy to give up on someone who has been such a strong and important part of your life. There will always be a narcissist push-pull. But it’s important to remember that you are not responsible for the narcissist’s behavior.

Here’s are a few tips on how you can detach yourself from narcissistic relationships:

  1. Know that it’s not your fault

There are many reasons why narcissists behave the way they do. Some of them are a result of childhood wounds and traumas. Others may be the result of chemical imbalances in the brain. 

Even if your narcissistic partner is suffering from a mental health condition, that doesn’t make you responsible for his or her behavior. You are not responsible for the narcissist’s behavior. You are not responsible for changing a narcissist. 

However, you are responsible for taking care of your own feelings and needs.

  1. Realize that narcissists are wounded people

Some people are born with personality traits that make them more self-absorbed than others. But the traits that cause narcissism in one person may not cause it in another person. The important thing is that you understand that your partner is hurting. 

Your partner may deny this, but it is your job to gently point out that he or she is in pain. Then it’s your partner’s job to decide whether he or she wants to heal.

  1. Cut off all contact

It’s tempting to stay in contact with the narcissist or survive narcissism because you hope that the person will change. But that’s not going to happen. If you try to communicate with the narcissist, you will only end up getting hurt.

  1. Find other things that make you happy

The more you feed yourself spiritually, the easier it will be to detach from a narcissist. Read self-help books that encourage positive thinking and self-care. Learn about meditation and how it can help you connect with your inner self.

  1. Connect with people who support you

When it comes to narcissists, relationships are often one-sided. The narcissist tends to take and never give back. Yet somehow, you still feel a sense of obligation to stay in an unhealthy relationship with a narcissist. Instead of continuing to put yourself through this pain, find people who support your decision to detach from the narcissist. They will encourage you to go on with your life and be happy.

  1. Understand that narcissists are often wounded people

They often feel unsupported and unappreciated. As children, they may have felt abandoned or forgotten. Their parents may have ignored them or been emotionally unavailable in some way. 

As a result, they learned how to look out for themselves in ways that didn’t benefit others. 

Is it hard to get away from a narcissist?

If you are in a relationship with someone who is narcissistic, it can be hard to break away, and you could wonder, “Why is it so hard to leave a narcissist?” It is difficult to leave a narcissistic partner because the narcissist is very charming and persuasive. They can make you feel like you are the only person who matters in the world to them and that everything is perfect between you two.

It can be hard to tell exactly what is wrong, and it can be difficult to leave the narcissist. However, it is important to remember that no relationship is worth living in a state of fear and intimidation. If your partner does not treat you well or respect you, there is no point in staying with them. 

Also read: Narcissistic Victim Syndrome: Signs, Effects & Ways to Deal

7 tips to leave a narcissist for good

How to leave a narcissist? If you’re considering leaving a narcissist for good, there are a few best ways to leave a narcissist:

  1. Don’t announce you’re leaving

Narcissists thrive on attention, and they’ll react negatively if they think you’re planning on abandoning them. When you break up with a narcissist, wait until you’ve had a long and thoughtful conversation with yourself about why you’re making this decision, and only then should you tell them.

  1. Log out of social media

Narcissists are often very adept at manipulating others through social media, so it’s crucial you cut ties with them completely before you cut off contact when you are planning to let go of a narcissist. Delete all your social media accounts and leave groups or pages they may have sent you to.

  1. Check for hidden trackers

Narcissists often place tracking devices on their victims’ phones in attempts to gain access to their private lives. Check your apps for any unusual functions that may signal a tracker has been installed on your phone.

  1. Don’t give in to their flattery

Narcissists often act very charming and sincere when they’re trying to charm their way into your heart. Remember that they’re only doing this to get what they want, so don’t let it fool you.

  1. Cut off contacts

If you are in the process of leaving your narcissistic partner, then you should try to minimize the amount of contact you have with them. This means no texts, calls, emails, or visits for the time being and no future communication until the relationship is over for good. Remember, they only have as much power as you give them.

  1. Remember why you left

It’s important to remember the reasons why you decided to leave and to check up on them every once in a while when you’re feeling alone. These reasons will also help you remember to keep looking forwards.

  1. Use positive affirmations

If you take the time to start viewing yourself differently and use positive affirmations that depict you as a more confident and successful person, you will gradually begin to see things differently and improve yourself over time. Try writing them down as daily reminders or saying them out loud to yourself throughout the day.

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