Unabashed Emotions

Why Am I Single? Top 10 Reasons Why You Are Still Single

By unabashedemotions


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Are you waiting around, month after month or even year after year, for that perfect partner to come strolling into your life? Does it seem that no matter what you do or try, you can’t seem to attract someone that you would want to be with? 

Everyone in your circle is either dating or going to tie the knot, does it worry you? Does it remind you of your singlehood? Does it make you question yourself, why am I single?

Is being single okay

It’s human nature to be concerned about this thing if you are not with someone. If you are an adult and single for a long time, it is considered to be strange and unusual. You need to have a solid and strong reason of why are you single. 

But, why is staying single forever not considered to be as normal as being in a relationship?

Being in a relationship has its own set of benefits. Falling in love is beautiful. It’s fantastic to have somebody by your side who loves you, cares for you, and supports you during tough times.

The problem of being single, yet longing for a partner, is becoming increasingly common and people wonder why is it so hard to find someone.

But when you know how to deal with being single, it hardly becomes an issue. Being single is okay if you are happy, not on the lookout for a partner, and understand ungrudgingly how to accept being single. The uneasiness only starts when you are single but not by choice.

Also Read: 9 Quotes About Singles That Are Hilarious AF

15 reasons why you’re single

So if you are wondering, why am I still single or I’m going to be single forever and longing for a relationship, there has to be some reason behind it that needs to be unveiled. Here are given a couple of reasons that can help you answer the question, ‘why am I single.’ You may be able to relate with one or more of the below-listed reasons.

1. You might be fully focused on your career

Career-oriented people are often seen enjoying single life.

It’s because they do not want their attention to be divided. They want to remain as focused as they can be. People who restrict themselves to office goals are not likely to get their attention off of it.

If your career is too big of a deal for you, then this could be the reason you are still single. Perhaps, you might not have thought of it, or you might not have invested in it.

If you ask, will I be single forever? Will I ever find love?

Well, there cannot be a definite answer, as it actually depends on your disposition. Perhaps, someday, you might just get tired of being single for a long time, and find a partner who has career goals just like you do.

2. You are satisfied

If you are contemplating ‘why am I single’, the simple reason could be that you are content.

You could be a happy and satisfied person with or without a relationship. For some people, a relationship is not a necessary ingredient for happiness in their lives.

It varies from person to person, to be concise. Some people rely on a partner to live happily while some people do not.

If you are full of self-contentment and you do not have an appetite for further things, you are rightly single.

3. You might fear heartbreaks

You might question,“Why am I single?” and be afraid of the fact that love is a gamble and success or failure is totally unpredicted. This reason is good enough to hold you back.

You might be scared of getting too involved in somebody. It is a strange fear which surrounds a few people. They fear giving everything to a relationship and not getting the same in return.

These people might hate being single for life, but this mighty fear does not let them be willing enough to indulge in a relationship.

But, if it’s just fear that is stopping you from experiencing love, you must not let fear conquer you. And, if needed, you must not shy away from seeking professional help to get over your apprehensions.

4. You fear a repetition of previous episodes of life

If you have been in a relationship previously and wondering why am I single now, it could be because of some past bitter experiences which could be the reason to be single.

If you had a number of breakups in the past, and you could not get over those traumatic episodes, then this might cause you to stay alone for a very long time.

You might not be confident about yourself and also feel unsure of the outcome of a relationship.

As a defense mechanism, you might have restrained yourself. You might not be willing to expose yourself to anybody because you have been abused at the hands of trusted people before.

This fear is not letting you grow. And, if this holds true for you, you must make an effort to get over your fear to bring back love in your life.

5. You have high relationship standards

If none of the aforementioned reasons hold true for you, and you are still left with the lingering question, ‘why am I single, perhaps you really have high relationship standards.

You might be a unique person with unique choices in life.

You know who you are. You hold yourself in high esteem. You are not desperate to be involved with someone. You are unwilling to compromise on your expectations and relationship standards.

6. You might not have met Mr./Ms. Right

For some people, regular affairs, and subsequent breakups are a ridiculous joke. They do not invest their time, energy, and emotions in anybody who is not worth it.

They are seriously looking for a worthwhile person who they can fall for.

You might be one of them. You might have been unsuccessful when it came to finding a perfect match for you. You might be waiting for your dream girl/boy.

If you are not a random lover who tends to love any undeserving person, maybe, that’s the reason you are still single.

These are some of the plausible reasons that can answer your nudging query ‘why am I single.’

If being single forever is how you see yourself, there’s nothing wrong with it. You must not get bothered by others’ opinions and live life to the fullest.

But, if you still find yourself bothered by the question ‘ why am I single,’ you should not keep it to yourself. You must open and try talking to the people who are close to you.

You can also seek a counselor’s help in case your fear or some other distressing issue is stopping you from getting into a relationship.

With the right kind of therapy, you can definitely overcome your apprehensions and embrace the divine feeling of being in love.

7. You don’t have a good relationship with yourself

Do you often find yourself wondering, why am I still single?

One of the biggest reasons for not being able to find a partner is that you do not have a positive and loving relationship with yourself.

A lack of self-love and care is a major roadblock to making connections with anyone.

We are often so hard on ourselves and hold ourselves to a much higher standard than we hold others to. Year after year of disappointment in oneself can create a negative self-image, which is very difficult to alter.

To attract a partner, it is vital that you at least value yourself and are proud of the person you are.

If you spend your days cowering, embarrassed even to raise your voice and be heard, you have a very slim chance of making a romantic connection or any other kind of positive attachment.

If you don’t like yourself, how can you expect other people to like you?

Loving yourself isn’t about binging on that tub of ice cream just because you feel like it, or splurging on a spontaneous online shopping spree to “treat yourself.”

Self-love is about recognizing who you are and respecting that. It’s about having self-respect and treating yourself as if you are someone that you were responsible for.

Do what you can to resolve your issues regarding self-love, respect, and acceptance. When you do this, you’ll find that you’ll naturally attract others without even trying to do so.

Watch the video given below to know how to love yourself to the core. You can get into a healthy relationship with somebody else when you love yourself first.

8. Your standards are too high or unrealistic

It seems as if we are constantly bombarded with this idea of true love and the ideal partner. Often, our criteria for a romantic partner are too lofty, and our standards are too high.

This doesn’t mean that you should settle for less, or be okay with anybody, just because you keep thinking,“why am I single?”.

However, it does mean that you need to work on seeing the humanity in your potential partner and not as someone who satisfies an arbitrary criterion. It’s essential to have standards, of course. Without them, who knows what kind of trouble we would end up in.

What’s important, though, is that we do our best not to let the standards become unreasonable or unrealistic.

When we have unreasonably high standards, we place a lot of pressure on others. With this kind of pressure present right from the get-go, it can be tough to develop any type of relationship.

The idea of having standards, especially high standards, is a slippery slope.

On the one hand, you know what you deserve, and you know what you want. On the other hand, you want to leave enough wiggle room in order to account for the human element.

Nobody’s perfect, and believe it or not, if you did find that perfect person, in the beginning, both you and your partner would eventually change, and at some point, the criteria would be challenged.

This is especially bad when we have higher standards for others, but lower standards for ourselves. What kind of message does that send?

It comes from a selfish mindset and worldview. With that kind of attitude, it will be tough to find yourself in a happy relationship.

Do your best to see who they indeed are, and accept their flaws as long as the deficiencies are not severe.

9. You have a lack of confidence

This is related to the first tip of having a good relationship with yourself. However, it deserves a more in-depth explanation.

If you keep questioning yourself why I am still single and lack an actionable approach, perhaps you are short of confidence.

A lack of self-confidence is one of the significant reasons people have a hard time attracting others romantically. We’ve seen this repeatedly with the whole “bad boy vs. nice guy” phenomenon.

It seems as if, regardless of looks and appearances, the bad boys always seem to get the girls, while the nice guys are always left in the dust. Why is this?

The answer is quite simple. Confidence is such a massive element in an attraction that, if someone has a deeply flawed character, and is even cruel at times, their confidence at first often ultimately trumps those harmful elements of the personality.

These types of relationships don’t tend to last, but the point is that confidence is an actual key to attraction in the beginning.

People, more often than not, are attracted to the ones who can assert themselves in the world with dominance and strength. They are drawn in by this magnetic power of confidence.

The soft-spoken, well-mannered man finds that he is continuously passed up for more confident men, although these men may lack many essential positive qualities.

Yes, it is essential to have good manners and be kind. The point is that sometimes a lack of confidence, which shows itself in the absence of assertiveness, is a huge turn-off.

Work on your self-confidence and do your best to strike a healthy balance of passivity versus assertiveness.

Knowing when to be passive and want to be assertive makes a world of difference.

10. You’re not good at or are not interested in small talk

One trait that people who are still single and who have a hard time finding partners typically share is that they are not good at small talk.

They may feel that small talk is full of fake pleasantries, and is simply a waste of their time. These people are making a huge mistake. Here’s why…

When you first meet a person, you generally start off on an elementary level of conversation. Not deep at all. You talk about something like the weather, your job, or some common interest you may share.

Slowly, the conversation will move into deeper levels and will do so naturally. However, it will only move to a deeper level, if the person you are talking to feels comfortable enough to move to that level.

If you’re unwilling to talk about basic, even mundane topics, why should the person trust you in details of their personal lives? Small talk is a way of testing the waters.

Try to develop a real interest in the person that you are talking to, without being fake.

Engage in small talk from this new perspective, and watch the other person feel more comfortable opening up to you. Only then will you be able to create a deeper connection that may eventually blossom into a genuine relationship.

Final words

If you’re still single and are getting tired of waiting for a partner, don’t give up!

Review these tips and be honest with yourself about what you need to change. You would be surprised at how quickly you can change your interactions with others and yourself.

Get a better relationship with yourself, review your standards, decide to be more confident, and better talk to people you don’t know.

If you do these things, you’ll dramatically increase your chances of getting yourself out of your single rut!

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