It can be emotionally taxing and draining to be in a relationship with a narcissist. You would frequently have your value and self-esteem called into question and damaged. It is normal to feel insecure and self-conscious when dating a narcissist, so if you have managed to leave a narcissist behind, congratulations!
But there are still a lot of unanswered questions regarding this choice. Are narcissists envious of your success in moving on? What happens when a narcissist realizes you’ve moved on? How do narcissists generally feel about moving on?
What then happens when a narcissist discovers you have moved on? Let’s investigate in the paragraphs that follow.
10 Things Happens When A Narcissist Sees You With Someone Else
Narcissists, individuals with an inflated sense of self-importance and a deep need for admiration, can struggle immensely when they see their ex or someone they were interested in moving on with another person.
This perceived loss of control and attention can trigger a range of emotions and behaviors, some more subtle and others quite dramatic. Here are 10 things that might happen when a narcissist sees you with someone else:
1. Rage and Jealousy: A Wounded Ego
- Why it Happens: Narcissists often view their partners or potential partners as possessions rather than individuals. Seeing you with someone else can be a major blow to their ego, triggering intense jealousy and rage.
- Example: Monica recently ended things with a narcissistic ex, Daniel. A few weeks later, she runs into him at a restaurant with her new boyfriend, Alex. Daniel’s face hardens, his smile disappears, and he throws Monica a glare that could curdle milk. He mutters a sarcastic greeting under his breath before storming off.
2. The Smear Campaign: A Public Takedown
- Why it Happens: Narcissists often struggle to maintain a positive self-image without external validation. When they feel threatened, they might resort to spreading rumors or lies about you, particularly to damage your reputation and gain sympathy.
- Example: After Sarah broke up with her narcissistic boyfriend, Tom, she started dating David. Tom, fearing Sarah might be happier with someone else, starts a smear campaign. He tells mutual friends that Sarah was controlling and manipulative during their relationship, painting himself as the victim.
3. The Possessive Act: “You Still Belong to Me”
- Why it Happens: Narcissists can have a distorted sense of ownership. Even after a breakup, they might feel entitled to control your life and dictate who you can or cannot be with.
- Example: After a messy divorce, Charles sees his ex-wife, Emily, out with a new partner. He unexpectedly shows up at her doorstep, uninvited, insisting they talk. He reminds her of the “good times” they had and tries to convince her she’s making a mistake by moving on.
To know more about it, watch this video:
How do narcissists feel if they see you happy with someone else? | The Narcissists’ Code Ep 857
4. The Hoovering Attempt: Reeling You Back In
- Why it Happens: Narcissists often struggle with being alone. Seeing you with someone else might trigger a desire to win you back, not necessarily out of genuine love, but to maintain control and a source of admiration.
- Example: John and Jessica dated for a few months, but the relationship ended due to John’s narcissistic tendencies. After seeing Jessica with someone new on social media, John starts sending her sentimental messages, reminiscing about their past and showering her with compliments.
5. The Social Media Blitz: A Carefully Crafted Image
- Why it Happens: Social media is a narcissist’s playground, a platform to showcase their (often exaggerated) achievements and perfect life. Seeing you with someone new might prompt them to post a flurry of happy-looking updates, showcasing their seemingly perfect life without you.
- Example: Mark recently split with his girlfriend, Lisa, who constantly criticized his excessive social media presence. Suddenly, Mark’s social media explodes with pictures of him enjoying luxurious vacations, attending exclusive events, and surrounded by attractive friends, all designed to portray an image of happiness and success without Lisa.
6. The Competitive Streak: One-Upping Your New Partner
- Why it Happens: Narcissists have a constant need to feel superior. Seeing you with someone new might trigger a competitive urge to prove their worth and demonstrate why they were the “better” partner.
- Example: After a public breakup, Sarah starts dating a successful entrepreneur, David. Her ex-boyfriend, Michael, a lawyer, starts flaunting his expensive new car and designer clothes on social media, seemingly trying to compete with David’s perceived success.
7. The Indifference Act: Feigning Disinterest
- Why it Happens: While some narcissists might react overtly, others might take a more subtle approach. They might try to act completely indifferent to seeing you with someone else, attempting to portray a facade of not caring.
- Example: Emily bumps into her narcissistic ex, Daniel, at a coffee shop. He’s with a new girlfriend, and when he sees Emily, he barely acknowledges her presence. He offers a curt nod and a forced smile before quickly turning his attention back to his date.
8. The Guilt Trip: Playing the Victim
- Why it Happens: Narcissists are masters of manipulation. They might try to guilt-trip you by portraying themselves as the victim in the relationship’s demise. This tactic aims to make you question your decision to move on and potentially reignite the relationship.
- Example: After a dramatic breakup, filled with arguments and blame games, Sarah is happily dating someone new. Her narcissistic ex, Tom, reaches out with a tearful message, apologizing for his mistakes and claiming he’s changed. He subtly suggests they were better off together and tries to make Sarah feel responsible for his misery.
9. The Triangulation Trap: Divide and Conquer
- Why it Happens: Some narcissists might engage in triangulation, a manipulative tactic where they introduce a third person into the dynamic. This can be a new romantic interest or even a mutual friend. The goal is to create competition and insecurity, making you feel replaceable and vying for the narcissist’s attention.
- Example: During a social gathering, Alex notices his narcissistic ex, Olivia, flirting with a new acquaintance. Olivia, throughout the evening, makes pointed comments about Alex’s new girlfriend and subtly tries to draw Alex into a conversation, seemingly to spark jealousy in both his current partner and the new acquaintance.
10. The Silent Treatment: A Weapon of Control
- Why it Happens: The silent treatment can be a powerful tool for a narcissist. By completely ignoring you after seeing you with someone else, they aim to punish you and regain control. This can be particularly confusing and hurtful, leaving you questioning your actions and yearning for their validation (which they withhold).
- Example: After ending a toxic relationship with Mark, filled with silent treatments as punishment, Jessica starts dating a kind and supportive partner. One day, she bumps into Mark at the grocery store. He sees her with her new boyfriend but completely ignores them both, pretending they’re invisible. This leaves Jessica feeling confused and slightly shaken.
Remember: It’s important to prioritize your well-being when dealing with a narcissist. Don’t be surprised by their reactions, and don’t be manipulated back into a toxic dynamic. Focus on your new relationship and surround yourself with supportive people. If the narcissist’s behavior becomes harassing or threatening, seek legal advice and prioritize your safety.
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What happens a narcissist sees you happy?
- A narcissist’s response to another person’s happiness can be erratic and contingent on a number of variables. Because the other person receives attention and validation, some narcissists may feel jealous and resentful.
- Some might minimize the happiness of others or interpret it as undermining their sense of dominance. In severe situations, a narcissist might deliberately work to undermine the happiness of the other person.
- When interacting with a narcissist, it’s critical to exercise caution and put your wellbeing first.
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How does a narcissist feel when you cut them off?
- Depending on the narcissist and the situation, their response to being cut off can change. Being rejected can be a blow to one’s sense of control and superiority, which can make them feel bitter and furious.
- To get their attention and control back, others might try to manipulate or guilt-trip the person who cut them off. If a narcissist has already found another source of validation or if they did not receive enough love or attention in the relationship, they may occasionally feel neutral or even relieved.
- When dealing with a narcissist, it’s crucial to put your safety and well-being first because of their erratic and sometimes harmful reactions.
In a nutshell:
The traits of narcissists include their excessive need for excessive admiration, high sense of self-importance, and superiority complex. Narcissists have a tendency to be manipulative and dominating in romantic relationships. They enjoy controlling and influencing their partner’s choices. Let’s say you are able to separate from a narcissist. If so, you might be curious about what happens if the narcissist witnesses you with someone else.
You’ve seen from this article what happens when a narcissist sees their ex with someone else. By being aware of these characteristics, you can make sure you’re ready and handle your ex properly. To gain additional understanding and advice on how to deal with a narcissist, you might also think about visiting a relationship therapist.