Unabashed Emotions

What Is A Broken Family Relationship & How To Fix It

What do broken family relationships mean?

The issue of family relationships is a complex one. It can be difficult to define and understand, yet it is an issue that impacts every person on some level. 

Family relationships can be broken in a number of ways, and these various fractures can have a profound impact on the individual, the family unit as a whole, and society as a whole. Anderson’s Broken Family[1] 

The study defines a “broken family” as “a family with unhealthy or dysfunctional interactions characterized by high levels of hostility and low levels of trust.” 

Families that exhibit this type of behavior are often considered to suffer from poor interpersonal relationships, which can have a negative impact on everyone in the family.

5 causes of broken family relationships

There are a number of reasons why family relationships can break down. However, five common causes are:

  1. Lack of communication. If family members don’t communicate well with each other, problems can arise.
  2. Estrangement.[1] Family members can become estranged[2] from each other for various reasons.
  3. Lack of trust. When family members don’t trust each other, it can affect the relationship negatively.
  4. In-laws. Sometimes the relationship between the in-laws and the children can be strained, leading to family conflict.
  5. Financial issues. Money is an important factor in many families, so when there are financial problems it can lead to conflict within the family.

10 signs of Broken family relationships

There are many reasons why families can break down, but it is often the result of unresolved conflicts and disagreements. Here are 10 signs that your family is in trouble:

1. Estrangement 

When family members no longer get along, often caused by unresolved conflicts or disagreements.

2. Constant arguing

Fighting between parents or siblings can result in a lot of tension within the family. Constant arguing between family members can be very unhealthy, especially when it lasts over a long period of time.

3. Lack of communication

When family members don’t communicate, it puts a strain on relationships. If family members fail to communicate their problems, it can lead to serious problems within the family. This can be caused by stress, busy schedules, etc.

4. Negative attitude towards each other 

If one family member starts acting negative towards another member of the family, it can cause problems within the family. If family members start acting negatively towards each other, it can be very unhealthy.

5. Lack of involvement 

When family members don’t involve themselves in the family, it can cause problems within the family.

6. Necessity of problems, stress, depression[

The strength of a family depends on its ability to resolve problems and overcome challenges. A family can survive a lot of hardships and challenges, but if they can’t resolve them or work together to overcome them, it will weaken the family.

7. No time for each other 

When family members neglect to spend time with each other, it can lead to serious relationship problems within the family. “Strong families” are[4] families that prioritize spending time with each other. They take the time to talk to each other and share experiences together. Spending time together is important for building strong relationships within the family.

8. Ineffective parenting

Sometimes parents lose their temper with their children, which can have a negative impact on the parent-child relationship.

9. Family members not prioritizing family time together

 A strong family is one that prioritizes family time and engages in regular activities together. If family members aren’t able to spend time together as a family, it can have a negative impact their relationships with each other.

10. Parents neglecting their children 

When parents don’t pay attention to their children and spend time with them regularly, it can have a negative impact on the parent-child relationship.

11. Parents not spending time with their children 

When parents choose to spend time with their children and show interest in their children’s lives, children are less likely to display negative behaviors. While it is sometimes not easy[6] for parents to make additional time for their children, it is necessary to ensure their children have a strong and positive upbringing.

12. Conflict between parents and their adult children

Disagreements between parents and their adult children can lead to conflict within the family. When disagreements occur, it is important that both parents and children respect each other and work together to resolve the issues.

7 Ways to accept that a family relationship is over

When it comes to family relationships, most of us go through a roller coaster ride from the highs of joy and love to the lows of anger and resentment. 

When your family is[1] dysfunctional, you may feel stuck. You may feel like there is no way out, but you are wrong! There are things you can do to regain control of your life and feel empowered again. Here are five ways to emotionally detach from your family.

1. Let Go of Past Negative Experiences

When you detach from your family,[2] it is important to let go of past negative experiences. You may want to hold on to the anger you felt toward your parents or siblings in the past, but dwelling on these things will only make things worse. 

Rather than obsessing over your past mistakes, try to learn from them and move forward in a positive way. “Often just letting[3] things out can feel like a release.” says Lynn Kantor, a therapist in Encino, California, who helps people work through traumatic life events. 

By releasing your negative emotions, you may be able to move forward and live a happier life.

2. Stop Criticizing Yourself

It is often easy to feel inadequate in your family. You have family members who may be more successful than you. They may be more educated than you. They may have better careers than you. 

But if you criticize yourself[4] or feel inadequate, it can make you feel even more inadequate. 

This can make the problem worse and keep you stuck in your unhappy family situation. Instead of criticizing yourself, try to focus on your strengths. 

Try to take pride in them and tell yourself that you are a good person and that you have your own unique strengths. “You are enough just as you are.” says Lynn Kantor.[5]

“You are enough just as you are.” says Lynn Kantor. You are capable of great things and you are loved for who you are. Don’t judge yourself too harshly. Instead, embrace all of your imperfections and be the best person you can be. With time and a positive attitude, you can overcome the negativity in your family and improve your self-confidence.

3. Forgive Your Family Members for Their Mistakes

Dealing with family members[6] can be difficult, especially when they are hurting you. But it is never healthy to hold a grudge against your family members for their mistakes and behavior. If they hurt you once, chances are they will probably do it again. Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Instead, forgive your[7] family members for their mistakes, forgive yourself for your mistakes, and move forward.

4. Look for New Friends and Family Members

It is never easy to start over in a new city or country after being raised by the same set of parents your entire life. But starting over does not have to be a bad thing. It can be an opportunity to meet new people and build new friendships.

5. Apologize to People From Your Past

You may never receive an apology from your family members, but you can still forgive them. As hard as it may be, try to forgive them for the pain they have caused you and the negativity they have brought into your life. Focus on moving forward rather than dwelling on the past.

6. Forgive Someone

Forgiving someone who hurt you is very difficult to do. When I got upset at someone[9] for doing something, I could never forgive them. Sometimes I was so angry that I couldn’t even look at them without screaming at them. But as I got older I realized that forgiveness was the most important thing I could do for myself.

7. Take Care of Yourself

Self-care is important, especially when you are grieving the loss of your family. Sometimes people forget to take care of themselves. They forget to eat, they forget to sleep, and they forget to have fun. But they cannot afford to forget about self-care if they want to heal their grief and move on with their lives.

When do you know if a broken family relationship is worth saving?

Broken families are common in our society. Many families are fractured because of disagreements, loss, or even simple misunderstandings. “Broken families are repairable when[1] the involved parties are willing to meet together, to listen to each other’s point of view and to work through their problems,” (Martinez).

However, the signs that the broken family relationship is worth saving are: strong communication between family members, willingness to compromise and respect for each other’s feelings, and continued involvement in important family events (for instance, birthdays or holidays).

“Broken families are repairable[2] when the involved parties are willing to meet together, to listen to each other’s point of view and to work through their problems.”

9 ways to fix a broken family relationship

When a relationship is in trouble, it can be hard to know what to do. Maybe you’re feeling hurt and angry, or maybe you just don’t know where to turn.

Here are 15 ways to heal your broken family relationships and get things back on track:

1. Don’t make assumptions

Take your adult child’s complaint seriously and listen for what’s true. If you don’t understand something, ask for clarification.” – Patricia Evans PhD, Family Therapist & Author of THE 10-MINUTE PARENT.

2. Practice open communication

This is especially essential if your child is going through a difficult time or is struggling with a mental health issue. “

3. Don’t judge them

Don’t assume you know better than your child. Avoid the ‘I know how you feel’ or ‘You should’ statements. “

4. Keep trying

 “Keep trying and don’t give up. Be consistent in your efforts. Practice self-care. Help your child learn to make healthy choices. Be there for them. Be the person they can turn to for support and care.”

5. Respond instead of react

“Try to respond rather than react. Instead of reacting, ask your child why he or she is upset, and ask what you could do to make things better.”

6. Talk to your child

Help your child learn that it is okay to be angry at times and that there are healthy ways to work through that anger. Pay attention and listen to your child. Children are more likely to listen to you if you show them respect. Explain your side of the conflict calmly and clearly. Make sure your child understands why you have a problem with his or her behaviour. Compromise with your child. It is hard to find a peaceful solution if no one is willing to give anything up.”

7. If your child has a problem, try to think of possible solutions

Discuss them with your child. Find a solution that you both agree on. Help your child develop skills to deal with anger in a healthy way. Pay attention and listen to your child. Children are more likely to listen to you if you show them respect. Explain your side of the conflict calmly and clearly. Make sure your child understands why you have a problem with his or her behaviour. Compromise with your child. It is hard to find a peaceful solution if no one is willing to give anything up.”

8. Give plenty of support and help them develop skills and coping strategies to deal with the challenges they’re facing

Explain your side of the conflict calmly and clearly.[3] Make sure your child understands why you have a problem with his or her behaviour. Compromise with your child.

9. Try to identify the cause of the problem

 if you can, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself to figure it out immediately. Don’t keep blaming yourself for your child’s difficulties – stress will only make things worse for both you and your child.

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