To be on the same page in the relationship, having a harmony and sense of understanding is essential for couples to thrive and grow together in the relationship. With constant effort and over a period of time, these qualities develop with the relationship, and the lack of these can clearly bring havoc in the day-to-day lives of both partners.
As the relationship gets older, partners develop expectations from each other, and because of this, they need to work on emotional attunement in relationships.
But what is emotional attunement in relationships? Let’s find out!
What is attunement in a relationship
So, what’s the definition of attunement?
Emotional attunement in relationships is a simple idea of being in tune with your partner’s feelings. Emotional attunement means recognizing and validating your partner’s emotions, even if they are different from yours.
When you are attuned with your partner, you both are able to work as a team and avoid big fights in the relationship, which are, otherwise, unavoidable if couples don’t practice attunement.
Emotional attunement in psychology means being receptive to your partner’s feelings and accepting them instead of being defensive and attacking your partner. To further understand emotional attunement meaning in relationships, it is essential to take examples from day-to-day lives.
Emotional attunement examples in relationships
To mention attunement examples, we need to understand emotional misattunement as well.
Suppose Eva and John have spent 2 years being married, and every weekend, John heads out to hang out with his friends while Eva spends her time alone. She asks John to stay one evening so that they can cook something together and have a calm weekend. John reacts by saying, “I spend the whole week with you. Can’t you understand I want to relax and rejuvenate at least for one day?”
Here, what John did was simply react to Eva’s words rather than understand her real problem. Instead, an emotional attunement example if John would understand the situation would be that he approaches Eva, hugs her and lets her know he understands she gets lonely on weekends without him and promises her that even if he goes to visit his friends, he will be back in a short while and have a nice weekend cooking and enjoying with her.
Can I improve my emotional connection in the relationship
If your relationship seems chaotic or there is a lack of emotional attunement, you must focus on emotional connection activities and work together to make the bond stronger.
There are various ways of how to improve emotional connection with your partner on a deeper level. For that, you need to keep your personal feelings aside and develop routines together. You can also practice more gratitude and be forgiving in the relationship to keep things smooth and peaceful.
12 tips for emotional attunement in relationships
Emotional attunement for couples is not just beneficial for the relationship but for self-improvement as well. You become more aligned with what the relationship needs and your personal needs at the same time. Check out these tips for emotional attunement in relationships:
1. Validate their feelings
First important tip for emotional attunement in relationships is to validate your partner’s feelings. By validating their emotions, you encourage them to express themselves better. You don’t have to agree with their opinions. Just being completely honest and accepting what they say will be enough to be emotionally attuned with each other.
2. Communicate effectively
Another tip for emotional attunement in relationships is to practice effective communication. You both must begin to clearly communicate with each other. Open and honest communication will strengthen respect for each other and help you both be more aligned with each other. Unarguably, communication will help you both avoid misunderstanding.
3. Show empathy
Once you understand what is attunement in a relationship, you will begin to show empathy to your partner which is a very important tip for building emotional connection in a relationship. By being empathetic, you let your partner know that you accept and understand what they feel.
4. Practice active listening
As much as talking is an essential aspect of communication, so is active listening. When your partner is being vulnerable and expressing their feelings, you must listen to them intently and respond to them as and when necessary.
5. Identify the triggers
Understand what triggers you and your partner that you both need to work on. Once you recognize these triggers, it will be easier to put a stop to them when situations come to the point of misunderstandings and fights.
6. Question them for better understanding
It might not be possible to completely understand your partner at all times. To be emotionally attuned and understand, ask them questions from time to time about themselves or their mood. This will help you figure out their pattern of thoughts over a period of time and help you both build emotional attunement in the relationship.
7. Pick non-verbal cues
Your partner will not always be expressing every single emotion. Therefore, to be emotionally attuned, you need to pay attention to non-verbal cues and address them. This means you need to check out their facial expressions and body language to understand if everything is fine.
8. Accept your feelings
By understanding your feelings, you help yourself and your partner work on those positive and negative emotions and, this way, become emotionally attuned.
You might not feel the need to feel your feelings or own up to them but give yourself space to do so. This will help you understand how much of those emotions are a part of your romantic relationship. Once you acknowledge them, you will be able to see them coming in the future.
9. Do not forget intimacy
By remaining intimate, hugging and kissing them, you are able to establish a deeper connection. This builds trust, and the relationship becomes a secure personal space for both of you to feel free and vulnerable.
10. Make eye contacts
Eye contact is a wonderful way to establish emotional attunement in relationships. Gazing into each other’s eyes for a couple of minutes is a great attunement exercise as it will help you both recognize each other’s emotions and foster emotional and sexual connection.
11. Keep your conflicts healthy
Ensure that you both have healthy conflicts. When you have an intention to act defensively to prove your point and go to the level of fighting with your partner, attunement in a romantic relationship will not be possible.
Therefore, avoid the blame game and sit together to zero down on the conflict resolution strategy. Once you both agree on it, you will take a step ahead in practicing emotional attunement in your relationship.
Check out this video to understand how to deal with conflicts in the relationship:
12. Make reasonable compromises
If you and your partner are not aligned on certain things, sometimes, it’s okay to compromise and come on the same page. It is obvious that you both cannot be in complete agreement with each other all the time. So, rather than keeping an expectation of having everything you want, be happy with the things you are receiving.
Emotional attunement in romantic relationships helps both the partners connect on a great level. This can also be applied to other relationships in life to keep a balance in the relationship with your close ones.