When Love Feels Like a Contest: 20 Signs Your Relationship Is Competitive

Competing partners are often looked up to as silly and funny. All those fights over the last bite of chocolate frosting or whose choice movie will be played are often categorized as cute. But what’s disturbing is while a pair is clearly in opposition with everything instead of operating as a team. Because a little competition in relationships is sexy and fun, but it can be trouble if it is not.

So, how do you recognize whether this competition is healthy or not? 

What is a competitive relationship?

Most couples often indulge in competitions to keep spicing up their relationship. Being too competitive can be in a board game competition or during a rock-climbing day together. 

These competitions are healthy as long as there’s a desire to be happy together. But if your actual competition is to be right all the time, then it’s your sign of being in a competitive relationship.

Competition vs. partnership in a relationship

A wholesome, satisfying relationship includes a partnership wherein human beings are a united front and a real team. When any one of them succeeds, the opposite is satisfied and supportive. 

On the opposite hand, the distinction in aggressive relationships is that the two human beings withinside the courting do now no longer shape a partnership. Instead, they’re rivals, competing on opposing teams.

20 signs you’re competing with your partner

The competitive signs or signs of competitive relationships are a warning and are often not easy to recognize. Because they are hidden behind a passive competitive spirit or simply because you never really allowed yourself to look at it in that manner. 

Wondering, “Am I too competitive?” Wondering if you or your partner is too much involved in the game while in competition? Wondering whether or not? Check out these 20 signs you’re competing with your partner.

1.     You feel panicky after they do something better than you
2.     You feel good when they fail.
3.     Your partner scolds you.
4.     You are often more competitive with them than you are in general with anybody else.
5.     You are hoping they don’t do better than you.
6.     You get angry when they outshine you at something you are better at than them.
7.     You never give each other the whole picture. There is always a feeling inside you that the other one may use your words against you in a conflict.
8.     You rarely ever come to a compromise on anything.
9.     You try to make each other jealous. Recalling your achievements and good looks is your day-to-day errand.
10. You demean each other over pity things.
11. You are liberal in your use of ultimatums with each other.
12. They get grumpy and snippy when you talk about your achievements.
13. You always have a competition about who earns more.
14. No matter what you do, they tell you that you’re wrong.
15. You’ve caught them sabotaging your efforts at something. It could be as big as creating self-doubt in your abilities or as pity as not appreciating your work.
16. You want to lash out at them when they surpass you at something or vice versa.
17. They constantly make subtle statements to dominate you and suppress your take on anything.

Also read: 50 Gaslighting Phrases & 15 Signs To Identify Your Gaslighting Partner

1. They have been pressuring you into quitting your job even though it makes you happy and you are good at it.
2. They don’t want you being compared to them.
3. For any competitive couple, the ‘we’ in your relationship is long gone.

How do I stop competing with my partner?

So, how to deal with competition in relationships?

Since competitive relationships may be dangerous and damaging, it’s crucial to discover ways to cope with opposition. Some of the key factors which you can take into account while dealing with a  competitive spouse are: 

1.      Communicate

It is the key to every healthy relationship. Sit down with your partner and confide in them about your feelings. Discuss with them your state on the issue and chances are that you together reach a healthy conclusion.

2.      Improvise

The next steps towards the remedy of your relationship will be improvising on the points you have together pinned down. It could start with sharing common goals or acknowledging each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

3.      Be supportive of each other

The third and final step will be supporting and trusting each other in the journey of transformation. Remember, in the end, all that will matter is how happy you are together, not the path you went through.

Check out this video to understand how to help and support someone:

Try all possible remedies to bring your competitive relationship back to its place. But if even after your hardest possible efforts you still view each other as competitors, it’s time to let go of such a relationship. There is no point in being in a relationship that is making you unhappy and it’s always okay to walk out of something before it turns out uglier.  

What can you do if you find yourself in competitive relationships?

How to stop being competitive? The first is to sit down and accept it as a reality. Next, introspect yourself regarding what led to this moment and then undo your actions. 

At last, remind yourself that part of being a couple is being happy for each other no matter what the final outcome will be. You are a team, standing for each other not against each other.

Takeaway

So, is competition healthy in a relationship? Well, couples are supposed to be cooperative and supportive of each other. There are often instances where you feel envious of your partner or their desires, which over time festers and create resentments in your relationship. 

This is definitely unhealthy for your relationship but what’s unhealthier is not realizing it and acting accordingly.