My Partner Is Being Sneaky In The Relationship. Why? What Should I Do?

Rushna was heading home after a romantic lunch with her boyfriend. That’s when she called him to ask about the plans for the next day. As she enquired, he sounded quite infuriated, complaining she questions him way too much.

Quite an odd take on the situation! 

This was not the first time she faced such a reaction, and her grudge was gradually building up, with each time he shut himself down, that seemed quite uncalled for.

Rushna trusted him a lot. But at the same time, she did not want to act naive and close her eyes when her gut feeling screamed otherwise.

When we realize our partner is acting sneaky, our suspicious horns grow ten times longer. 

But does that mean trouble in the relationship?

Well, lying is a part of the evolution process of humans. On average, a person tells 1.65 lies a day, and most of the lies in the process are harmless. However, there is definitely a line between having space or boundaries in the relationship and acting sneaky with your partner.

If you are dealing with lying in a relationship, let’s know what exactly being sneaky in a relationship means? 

What Does Being Sneaky In A Relationship Mean?

So, what’s the meaning of a sneaky person?

Being sneaky in a relationship generally means someone is acting sly in a relationship. They are partially lying or, rather, hiding some information from your partner. For instance, they are withholding certain details about their day while chatting with their partner. 

Doing things in a secret manner rather than openly is another sneaky behavior meaning. However, being sneaky doesn’t always indicate the unhealthy aspect of a relationship.

At times, if your partner is acting sneaky, it could also point out some healthy aspects as well. For instance, your partner could also be planning a surprise for you while you sit and wonder there’s something wrong. 

Should Sneakiness Be An Attribute Of A Relationship?

Well, absolutely not.

So, is it bad to be sneaky?

On any given day, sneakiness in a relationship is unhealthy if it stretches for a prolonged period of time.

Being sneaky clearly means not being truthful, and this can shake the very foundation of the relationship. When your partner is being sneaky, it is most likely because of the wrong reasons than the right.

This can take a dangerous turn and play a catalyst in killing the relationship.

Also Read: What Is Attachment Anxiety, Triggers & Treatment Options

What Makes A Person Sneaky?

You might wonder what makes a person sneaky. The answer, as aforementioned, is that they wish to keep some things hidden and act deceitfully. 

However, it is essential to not mislabel certain behaviors but talk to your partner as there could be several reasons a person could be sneaky or lying.

• Trying to control a situation
• Hiding a thing
• Fear of rejection
• Low self-esteem
• Inability to express a feeling
• Trying to avoid a conflict

7 Sneaky Signs To Prove Your Partner Might Be Lying

To figure out if your partner is being sneaky in the relationship, look out for these 7 signs of a sneaky person:

The body language reveal

When people are sneaking around and want to keep their guards up, this will definitely show in their body language.

Some of the body languages that point out the person is lying, or sneaky behavior in adults are:

• Reduced eye contact
• Excessive blinking
• Touching their own eyes, mouth, ears, lips, hair, etc
• Tapping fingers
• Crossing legs
• Bouncing legs
• Cracking knuckles
• Humming

Overall, there will be a little asymmetry in their body as an important indicator of discomfort and guilt.

Playing Defensive

When a person is being sneaky in a relationship, you will notice them playing defensive. This usually arises out of an inflated sense of guilt. This is a sign of self-protection. However, in this case, the self-protection is for a negative reason, and the liar is bound to turn hostile on being questioned.

Inconsistency in information

One of the sneaky signs of a cheating spouse or partner is when a person is lying; they are bound to give inconsistent information as they are often not prepared with a full-fledged story to answer your questions. 

Considering the facts are not right, the narrative is bound to change time and again, and their stories don’t add up.

Providing extra information

To prove their point and say big or small lies in a relationship, people who are sneaking around will give extra information and try to sound truthful. This is an act of persuasion in order to sound more authentic and evade any chance of someone doubting their story.                        

• Using fillers in conversations

Fillers like um, ah, oh, right, like, so, correct, etc. are often used by someone who is lying or sneaking around. They actually buy time while using fillers in the conversations. At the same time, it is also a sign of diffidence.

Lashing out often

One of the signs of a lying spouse is that they lash out often in order to have the upper hand in the relationship and prove themselves right. They try to show dominance by lashing out. This happens because they wish to avoid questions about their lying and sneaky pattern.

Becoming busier than usual

People who are sneaky in their relationship are busier than usual because they want time for the reason they have been acting so. 

If your partner or spouse lies about little things, more often than not, you will not be knowing why they have become so busy or where they are most of the time. You can’t keep track of their schedule. 

What To Do If Your Partner Seems To Be Acting A Little Sneaky?

Being sneaky in a relationship is unhealthy behavior and can be detrimental for both the partners. But when being sneaky goes wrong, how to deal with liars in a relationship? 

If your partner seems to be acting a little sneaky, here are a few ways to make it work:

Know the signs

Understand the signs of a sneaky partner before trying to confront them out of a mere doubt. Don’t jump to conclusions as there could be many reasons you could be feeling this way. It could be your stress or tension. So, be sure of the signs to avoid uncomfortable confrontations in the relationship.

Figure out why this could be happening

If your partner is sneaky in the relationship, try to understand why this could be happening. It could be a sign of negativity creeping into the relationship, as you might assume at first. However, people are also sneaky due to a lack of confidence and low self-esteem and when they cannot express themselves completely.

Discuss it with your partner

Once you are sure of your partner being sneaky in the relationship, it is important to talk to your partner about it. Communication is a great tool and is often underrated. 

There could be a possibility of something other than what you might be assuming. So, sit down and talk about it. In any case, this is a mature step and will only help you grow as a couple.

A sneaky partner will make the relationship unhealthy. The best way to deal with sneaky people is to ask questions and address the issue as a team before it takes a toll on an otherwise happy relationship.