A strong marriage is known to survive the test of time. The pitfalls and the roadblocks are part of the journey, but no matter what challenges may come, couples constantly make efforts to smoothen the road of love and marriage.
However, the very foundation of the marriage might seem to dwindle when one partner discovers their spouse’s sexual orientation is not the same as theirs. In this respect, it might shake the root of trust, respect, and honesty when the wife learns that her husband is bisexual.
Who Are Bisexual?
When it comes to bisexuality, it is just a sexual orientation like a heterosexual or a homosexual. According to American Psychological Association,
The term “bisexual” is used to describe a person who experiences emotional, romantic and/or sexual attractions to, or engages in romantic or sexual relationships with, more than one sex or gender.
In short, bisexual meaning is when a person is attracted to more than one gender.
People often try to gauge reasons for bisexuality. However, sexual orientation does not have a reason. It is a natural identity of a human being. Just like heterosexuality (often considered as ‘normal’) does not have a reason, bisexuality, homosexuality,, or any other sexual preference, for that matter, does not have a reason and should not be associated with a particular incident, trauma, or setback.
Living With A Bisexual Husband: Outcomes Of Discovery
When you discover that your husband is bisexual, there are various feelings that you will be overwhelmed with.
Let’s check out some things you might face upon the discovery:
- Mixed-orientation marriage depression
- Feelings of future being dark
- Self-blaming
- Anxiety
- Guilt
- Anger
- Betrayal
- Constant fights with your spouse
- Worry about ‘coming out’ in fronts of friends and family
- Worry about children’s future (if any)
- Feelings of dissociation from the partner, etc.
10 Ways to Cope With a Bisexual Husband
My husband is bisexual. What should I do?
To start with, living with a bisexual husband might seem difficult. It might even seem impossible, considering you feel betrayed.
However, trust your marriage know that no mountain is hard to climb. There are still ways to cope with the situation.
Let’s check out ways of coping and living with a bisexual husband:
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Acceptance
No matter where the relationship is headed after the discovery, acceptance is the key to moving further and avoid bisexual marriage problems. Keep yourself strong and work on digesting the fact that your husband is bisexual. Only when you accept will you be able to take the next steps.
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New Beginnings
Understand that this means new beginnings for the relationship. Now that you have understood the complexity of his emotions better living with a bisexual husband will be comparatively easier as many confusions about his behavior that you had earlier have eased up.
So, make a fresh start. See him in a positive light and take the required steps in your marriage.
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Know More About Bisexuality
Considering you are a heterosexual, you might not know a lot about bisexuality. So, learn as much about it to understand your husband better. Connect with therapists, read research articles, watch meaningful movies to avoid anything odd or hurtful in the future.
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Communicate
We can’t stress this enough, but communication is crucial to solving the biggest of challenges. So, talk to your partner about it. Don’t keep your feelings bottled up or let your husband do that.
At the same time, be a good listener. It mustn’t have been easy for your partner to disclose this to you or be a bisexual male in a straight relationship going forward. Now that he has let you know let him speak his heart out and listen to him patiently.
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Set Relationship Boundaries
Living with a bisexual husband means that you both need to set relationship boundaries moving further. Are you both okay with a monogamous relationship? Has either of you suggested an open marriage setup?
This means to know each other’s perspective on where they see the relationship heading in the long term. Figure out what works for both of you, keeping the long-term commitment in mind.
Check this video to learn more:
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Set Marriage Goals
While intimacy between you and your partner might shake a bit if you are living with a bisexual husband and have recently known about him, it’s time to sit and decide upon marriage goals.
This means know what works for your sex life, know each other’s expectations, etc. You both can also decide on fortnightly dates or travel plans to keep the spark alive.
Read: 20 Signs That He Is Not Interested In You But Not Saying It Clearly
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Trust & Respect
There’s often a myth surrounding bisexuals that they can’t be loyal. However, living with a bisexual husband will make you realize that unless you trust your spouse and respect him for who he is, you can’t move towards a healthy relationship.
This is something very normal that he would expect out of the relationship. So, if you have known his intentions, trust and respect him and don’t allow your feelings to change just on the basis of his sexual orientation.
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Support
Dealing with bisexuality can be difficult in the beginning. But know that his preference is his identity and an inherent part of his personality. Try not to change him or look for ways to fix the situation. Instead, support him, know things he is comfortable with, and don’t put out your harsh comments or ideologies with him.
This starts the moment you understand that bisexuality is not a ‘fault.’
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Seek Marriage Therapy
A marriage might seem to dwindle when you are living with a bisexual husband who recently came out. While everything might seem dark and uncertain, it’s good to talk to a therapist or a family counselor before taking any drastic steps.
This will help keep things smooth in the long run.
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Self-care
Definitely, it is a lot to process that you are living with a bisexual husband. While earlier he was just your husband, now you see him as a bisexual husband.
Let your brain calm down. Don’t forget to take care of yourself while supporting your spouse. As much as it was hard being bisexual in a straight relationship for him, it must be hard for you, too, as the relationship seemed at stake. So, allow yourself some time to heal.
I Need You To Know That Self-Love Is A Slow Process & It’s Okay If You Struggle At Times
Can Marriage With A Bisexual Husband Survive?
Living with a bisexual husband who has recently come out might instantly make you think that the marriage is over, or you might think, “Can a bisexual man be happily married to a woman?” The first thought to come into your head might be that the relationship will not survive in the long run.
This could be due to several assumptions. However, it’s wrong to dissolve the marriage without any discussion.
It is important to not forget the love, chemistry, trust, and understanding the two of you shared before the revelation. So, make sure you put the effort into your relationship to stay true, happy and committed.
