I Will Love You Dearly But From A Safe Distance

A hunky dory start of our relationship and how things fell apart. Sad!

I could scream your name and tell the world, and yet, it will not come on par with how deep your name is etched in my heart. You are in all the romantic songs I listen to, you are the wall in front of my work desk I often talk to. 

You are my first sip of coffee in the morning, my last thought before I drift into sleep.

You are the Good Morning text every lover receives, a bashful I Love You at the end of their conversation.

You are so many things, yet none that I have, none that I can keep but only cherish.

In my early twenties, I believed love is as simple as saying I Love You and sticking true to that person.

Didn’t we all have a similar simple idea of falling in love and creating a Fairytale of our own?

Adulting didn’t come with warning signs, but only in the form of a few freckles on the foreheads of adults around us. We’ll do it different– we all thought.

As much as the complications around us grew, so they did inside our heads too.

I was no longer a Cinderlla or my man a Prince Charming. We constantly fought for power. We were critical to a fault. We hardly cared about the emotional wounds we were giving each other in the name of love.

We, in fact, were unknowingly plunging into a toxic relationship.

No matter how sad it may sound, I have always believed that it is not necessary that two good people will always create a good relationship. Despite numerous efforts, if it is not meant to happen, the relationship will not succeed.

No matter how much you love each other, you both will wander in the dark and wander alone.

In my case, we both struggled to stick together but eventually failed, with not one person’s fault. The negativity crept in and how! 

None of us have any answers.

I often asked myself, Isn’t there any way to make it work? 

There could be plenty but just not in our sight. When I saw some ray of hope, he didn’t and when he did, I turned awry.

Contrary to the belief that true love stays, here’s me telling you that it is perfectly possible to love someone from a distance.

No matter how marvelous your relationship was, if they couldn’t be the perfect fit for your puzzle, it’s easier to bid them goodbye and wish them a happier life than sticking through and inadvertently ruining every speck of love you both share.

My love, we could not build a relationship of our dreams but it’s okay. Not every home is built to last. Some are swept by waves, others by a shake of the Earth. We might never cross paths again, have exciting conversations late in the night. We might never get on each other’s nerves ever again and it’s okay. 

Loving you from distance is hard but its perfectly fine because I have come to understand that no matter how big fans we were of Bumper Boats in real life, our relationship doesn’t have to be one. I am okay loving you from a distance, in silence, with all my heart.