Unabashed Emotions

How to Initiate Sex With Your Husband- 10 Effective Tips

Was it good for you? Your physical relationship between husband and wife may be fine, fun, or absolutely mind-blowing but it can always be better. Want to know how to initiate sex with your husband in your marriage? Keep reading.

Having sexual chemistry with your husband is important. It is equally important to have a great physical relationship on a day-to-day basis. Holding hands, snuggling, and kissing can make your connection deeper and raise your love hormone, oxytocin. 

Having a satisfying physical relationship in and outside of the bedroom can make you feel closer to your husband.

So, how to make a physical relationship with your husband? How to start sex with your husband?

Whether you’re looking to spice up the husband-wife physical relationship, resuscitate boring bedroom antics, here are 10 tips on how to initiate sex with your husband.

1. Improve your emotional intimacy

Learning how to initiate sex with your husband involves a lot more than learning a few new moves. It is normal for couples’ libidos to even out after the initial hot and heavy phase of dating wears off. This is where sex becomes more stabilized and emotional intimacy comes into play.

Much of the sexual experience depends on how strong your emotional and physical intimacy is outside of sex. One way to improve your sex life is to start working on your physical intimacy outside of the bedroom. Holding hands, sharing deep conversation, cuddling without sex, and dancing together are all ways of improving your emotional intimacy.

The closer you are emotionally the better your sex life will be.

2. Try new things with your partner

One tip for how to initiate sex with your husband is to try new things. After being together for a while, you have likely found a rhythm that works well for you both. Routine can be nice, but it can also make you feel like both you and your partner have stopped trying. If you are looking to jumpstart your sex life it can be fun to try new things.

Sharing new experiences both in and outside of the bedroom can stimulate dopamine production in your brain. Dopamine makes you feel happier, triggers the reward center of the brain, and acts as a neurotransmitter for sexual desire.

3. Read to one another

Men respond strongly to visual stimulation, while generally, women need to have a context to become aroused by literature or naughty movies. Basically, women prefer storylines they can insert themselves into, instead of watching something dirty just for the sake of it.

Not all couples are comfortable with the idea of inviting pornography into the bedroom. For those who prefer to get turned on by one another, not a couple on a screen, reading erotica to one another is a great option. You may want to laugh when you first start, but if both partners keep an open mind, you may start to enjoy the novel.

4. Create a sex goal together

Communication is key to having a fantastic sexual connection with your husband. Why not try setting a new sex goal every couple of months together?

For example, as a trick for how to initiate sex with your husband, say your sex goal is to be more comfortable with your body. You can then spend the next few weeks or months writing down physical traits you love about both your partner’s body and your own. You may also choose to exercise or get a makeover in order to feel more confident naked.

Another sex goal may be to become more vulnerable with your partner or to lose your inhibitions. You may start by opening your eyes during sex, maintaining eye contact, or sharing sexual fantasies.

This can be a fun and exciting answer for how to initiate sex with your husband that can spice things up between the sheets, all while working on an important issue.

5. Be open about your desires

Many couples experience boredom in the bedroom because they don’t feel like they can be open about their wants and needs.

Some women may “fake” climaxing instead of simply telling their partner what they need to feel satisfied. Some men may feel embarrassed or awkward about sharing a fantasy. It may be uncomfortable to broach these topics, but you must be honest with your partner if you want your physical relationship to improve.

6. Dirty talk improves your connection

One of the creative ways to initiate lovemaking and have a better physical experience with your spouse is to be open to new things between the sheets. A study done by Durex reported that 60% of couples talk dirty in the bedroom. This may take some practice, but if you initiate sex with a guy using this, the end result can excite both you and your partner.

Remember, you do not have to be raunchy or outrageous when talking dirty with a partner if that’s not your style. What’s important is that you are both having fun. Sometimes it is the simplest phrase that is most effective.

Also read: 35 Best Oral Sex Tips: How To Keep Your Partner Happy

7. Effects of “I Love You” during sex

One study done by Chapman University found that couples who said “I love you” during sex reported higher levels of sexual satisfaction. 

This is no surprise, since saying I love you makes you feel closer to your partner and often releases the bonding hormone oxytocin. Another factor that makes “I love you” a crowd-pleaser in the bedroom stems from the fact that both men and women tend to have more enjoyable sex when they feel their partner shows vulnerability. 

8. Make time for sex regularly

If you work full-time and are raising children, as well as taking care of your household needs, it is understandable for you to feel tired at the end of the day. That said, it is important for you to carve out time for your sex life each week.

To start intimacy with your husband, create a “romantic date night” and a “physical date night” each week for you and your partner. The romantic date night will allow you to reconnect emotionally, build intimacy, bond, and have fun together. The physical date night ends with foreplay and sex and allows you and your partner to explore fun new experiences in the bedroom.

You can’t make physical relationships better if you never make time for them. Couples who regularly make time for date nights, bonding, and sexual intimacy have happier, healthier relationships.

9. Leave a note

Does he feel, “My wife never initiates affection?”

Don’t let that happen!

As one of the tips for how to initiate sex with your husband, you can leave a note in the car or even stick it to his wardrobe right when he is out of the shower. You can write something cute or something naughty. Let’s look at some of the examples:

  • I want you so bad. Here. Now
  • Come
  • Do me
  • Do that thing I like
  • Kiss me 

10. Make time for it

If you are feeling a lack of sex in your relationship, it could be simply because of the busy lives of you two. 

One of the ways of how to initiate sex with your husband is to consciously make time for it. It means to take it as a priority and set some days and time aside just for sex. It might seem unnatural to start with, but eventually, this will reignite the fire and bring your both closer.


The deeper your emotional connection is with your partner, the better your sex life will be. You might wonder, “Should women initiate sex?” However, when you are in a solemn marriage, women initiating sex is completely okay and only establishes a solid relationship between the partners.

Check out this video to understand  what men consider great sex:

For ways to start sex, schedule a regular date night, be open about and explore your sexual fantasies, and practice being physical outside the bedroom. By using these creative ways to initiate lovemaking,  you will make physical relationships better in the bedroom.

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