Sexologists have talked enough about the benefits of trying out and engaging in oral sex with your partner. Not only does it work wonders for the pleasure aspect but also increases the sense of intimacy in the relationship.
However, it can be a daunting experience to think of and might require a lot of getting ready and thinking to do. Nothing wrong with that, trying to know is where all good things start.
What Is Oral Sex?
For starters, what is oral sex?
The simplest definition we could find says
“Oral sex is when you stimulate your partner’s genitals with your mouth, lips, or tongue. This could involve sucking or licking their penis (also called fellatio), vagina, vulva or clitoris (cunnilingus), or anus (anilingus).”
Oral sex is a common art before actual intercourse. In fact, it is scientifically proven that oral sex is an important aspect of a relationship.
35 Oral Sex Tips For Men & Women
On that note, you can start here with these easy-to-understand oral sex tips to ease yourself into it and understand how to perform the oral sex part of the conversation. Take this guide on oral sex techniques.
1. Hygiene
Oral sex is about as close as you will get to your partner’s most intimate areas and vice versa, and you do not want an infection later. Thus, the first of the oral sex tips will always be to maintain basic hygiene. Wash your mouth before and after giving oral.
2. Use protection
Just because there is no pregnancy involved does not eliminate the need to use protection. That is just one function of it. Condoms or dental dams also protect you from infections, and no infections make for great oral sex.
3. Listen to your partner
While you are at it, be attentive to the needs of your partner and the cues, both verbal and non-verbal. A moan, an arch or pushing up in your face, or any other positive reaction is a good indication of going in the right direction. While silence or lack of movement might be a sign, you should switch up or just ask them what they would like. Asking is golden oral sex advice.
4. Eye contact
Maintaining eye contact while going down on your partner is another one of the oral sex tips that will switch up the spiciness if that’s what you are looking for in your experience.
5. Speed variations
A great tip on oral sex is that a bit of tease can always bring more flavor to it. Play with speed, do not go all rough and hefty or go super slow. Instead, give them little surprises with changes in your speed and introduce newer sensations.
6. Toys can help
You can bring oral sex toys, and there are myriads, into the equation here. Use a vibrator to stimulate other parts of the genitalia or go for the types wearable on the tongue to induce multiple sensations and increase the pleasure of your partner. You can also use sex toys if you both want to experience it together. Vibrators are a great help like that.
7. Comfortable position
This one is very important among the oral sex tips. You have to find a position you are comfortable in to give great oral sex. If you are uncomfortable and you are going to be down there for some time now, it won’t be fun for either of you.
8. Foreplay
Prepare for oral sex, don’t just jump into it. Touch your partner, feel them up, kiss them all over. Let them get warm and worked up and practically asking for it. You can add music and candles to the ambiance if that works for you.
9. Take control
There are a lot of people for whom the power play is the part of a good sexual experience, and for them, it is always one of the oral sex tips for a better experience to take control. Sexologists have talked about giving oral sex can be an empowering experience. So, if you and your partner like it so, take control, get dominant, and play with it.
10. Go slow
If you think of oral sex as something you have just to get done with, go in quick and get it out of the way, don’t do it. If it is not enjoyable for both the partners, it won’t be a good experience, its important to go slow, build up, and explore your partner’s erogenous zones.
11. Use your lips
One of the good old oral sex tips is to use the lipstick technique on the penis. Run the head of the penis against the outline of your lips, taking it in your mouth between outlines for lubrication.
12. Find a rhythm
If you are not too sure what to do and how to go about it, find a steady rhythm and just follow it. Go along with it slowly, and for the first few times, you can rest easy with it before exploring any further.
13. Temperature play
One of the oral sex tips to switch things up is to introduce temperature play. It will introduce new sensations into your experience.
A simple trick is to put some ice in your mouth before going down on your partner. Simply having a glass of cold water will do too. You can even have a fan in the room to mix the heat with a cooling sensation.
14. Take a break
If your mouth or jaw feels the ache, it is always a good practice to take a breather. Kiss or caress your partner’s thighs and check in with them. As we do know, communication is one of the good old oral sex tips.
15. Humming
One thing that will always create a pleasurable sensation and make them curl up a bit more is a bit of humming. Yep, hum into your partner’s genitalia while going down on them and give them the vibrations. It’s one of the oft-used oral sex techniques.
16. Food play
Now this one is a bit tricky while introducing foods introduces flavor like whipped cream or chocolate syrup and make it fun.
It can also be a problem as it can lead to yeast infections caused by breaking down refined sugar if you decide to have intercourse later. So, keep the precautions for oral sex in mind.
17. Try a different angle
Right from the treasure box of good old oral sex tips, it also introduces something new by changing your positions. If you usually follow a certain position, try a different one. It will be a new experience for both of you.
18. Create a suction cup
this is one of the best little tricks you can try on your female partner. Count it as an offering to great cunnilingus tips. Open your mouth as wide as you can and press it against the vulva and suck away as you roll your tongue around the edges of your tongue. Create your own suction cup.
19. Talk while doing it
Communication is always one of the first oral sex tips while talking beforehand prepares you for good sex. Do remember to talk while you are at it, ask your partner if they are enjoying it, or what they would like to do differently, or just what would they like.
20. Pulse
One of the best oral sex things to do for her is to induce orgasmic contractions, which she experiences through sex, beginning in the pelvic region and spreading across in waves of pleasure.
How? Press a broad flat surface against the length of her vulva or head of the clitoris and pulse gently.
21. Try new places
Not only positions but trying new places is also one of the good old oral sex tips to introduce a sense of newness into the experience. Go for quickies in the washrooms or pull a chair next to the kitchen counter, play with new and different oral sex ideas.
22. Stimulate the inner penis
One of the best oral things to do for him, and again a new experience for both of you, is to focus on more than just the penis. Use your fingers to work with the perineum just behind the balls. It will stimulate the inner penile bulb as you suck on his penis.
23. Reverse positioning
This one is an old little trick in the book of bj tips and tricks. You can make it enjoyable by alternating between the usual position and putting the soft underside of the tongue against the upper side of the penis.
24. Communicate
There are things you should have a conversation about before getting intimate. This includes overarching topics like the names they like their genitalia being referred to as and what terms are offensive or uncomfortable. Even what names do they like oral sex to be referred to.
25. Use lube
One of the good oral sex tips you should always follow for things to use during oral sex is to use lube.
Spit is just not enough, and most lubes also edible and safe to ingest. Just remember rules like avoiding products with glycerin and not using silicone-based lube with a silicone toy. Use a water-based lube instead.
26. Teasing with teeth
It is a wise idea to explore and a fun little experiment to try from among the oral sex tips, to use your teeth to add a new sensation to the experience. You can use teeth to tease on the thighs, butt, hip bones, and neck.
However, for using it in their genitals, do get consent beforehand.
27. Let yourself be seen
There ain’t much hotness apart from the heat if you are under the sheets all the time. They are with you because they like seeing you and so let them have the view. Dress up and amp up the view.
28. Consent
Back to the basics of the oral sex tips, take consent. Both of you should be okay with giving and receiving it, not everybody will be fine with it, and in the end, it should not be forced on anyone.
Check this insightful video on consent to understand the concept better:
29. Encouragement and body positivity
To allow someone to be that close and intimate to you is not just an easy decision, especially as everybody has their own set of bodily insecurities and narratives about bodies in media.
Praise your partner, let them know you love their body and you enjoy going down on them. Nothing is sexier or more willing than a confident partner.
30. No need to shy away
If you are doing it for the first time, one of the oral sex tips for you is not to be embarrassed about that. Embrace it. There is nothing to be ashamed of in not knowing what to do. Some of the best experiences come out of exploration. Talk to your partner and try new things.
31. Be vocal
If you are having fun, don’t keep it to yourself. This is whether you are at receiving or giving end, let them know you are enjoying them going down on you and alternatively that you are enjoying going down on them. Make some noise in wise old proverbial language.
32. Not all about genitals
One of the most important oral sex tips is to let go of the idea that oral sex is all about the genitals. It is way more than that. Explore your partner’s other erogenous zones, kiss them, lick them, play around to get them into the mood, and take them to a new experience.
33. Stroke the legs/thighs
While you are going down on them, too, stroke their legs or thighs while you are at it, thighs and legs are generally sensitive areas, and light strokes can induce pleasurable sensations into your partner, making them more receptive and involved.
34. Use your hand simultaneously
Work the shaft in tandem with your mouth, sucking on the head of the penis, or rub the clit with your thumb before using your tongue. You can even insert a few fingers in their vagina while sucking on clit and massage the g-spot.
35. Orgasm is not the end goal
The final and most important of all oral sex tips is that orgasm is not everything. The measuring of good oral sex is not orgasm. It is how much you and your partner enjoyed it. It is not science, and orgasm is not the definite answer.
Also read: 10 Sleeping Positions & Their Meaning In The Relationship
Precautions while performing oral sex
Oral sex is undoubtedly fun and exciting. In fact, it is a sought-after practice even sans sexual intercourse. However, whether you have one partner or multiple, health and hygiene are something that should definitely be kept in mind as it is a matter of sexual health, and delicate body parts are involved. That is when we must know about safe oral sex.
Have a look at some of the tips on how to perform oral sex safely.
– Use the barrier method
In case of sexual intercourse, you should always have barriers handy for decided or u planned sex and keep the STIs away. They are cost-effective, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t use them. Examples are condoms or dental dam (or oral dam).
– Don’t lick without checking
Considering contact is involved in oral sex, make sure you check for injuries, lesions, strange discharges before licking. If required, ask your partner about them beforehand as some problems might be internal and wouldn’t show on the surface.
– Check yourself
You should also keep a check on your body to keep it clean and hygienic as problems will affect not just one person but two. Get yourself checked from time to time for safe oral sex.
– Communicate with your partner
In order to understand how to have safe oral sex, you should understand your partner’s choices and desires and communicate yours as well. In this way, you will both can avoid being too hard on each other.
– Always choose a safe place
Avoid dirty, dingy places and if your home or bed is a mess, clean it beforehand to keep sharp or edgy objects at bay. This will keep you both hurt-free. Also, if you both choose a place outside the home, ensure it is not a public place, is clean, and safe.
Now you know what to do, do it with style, and have a fun time.